By Kloghole
Here’s
a question for all you fuckin’ taint ticklers out there: who is your
favorite vocalist? Who can really move you with their voice? I am not
sure where you think I am going with this, but I have to say my absolute
favorite voice out there is Koko Taylor. If you have never heard “Wang
Dang Doodle,” do yourself a favor and google that motherfucker. If you
don’t dig it, you are an absolute fucking jackass.
Over
the past few years, my intolerance of intolerance has gotten me into
quite the pickle. I work with an absolute fucking, pussy (as in infected
wound) cunt (and I do not throw that term around lightly - I fucking
hate it’s dehumanizing sexism, but it communicates the depth of this
person’s bigotry). She has referred to one of our students as “the sick
one” because she has an ongoing health problem. She told a student with
disabilities, “Stop doing that. You’re creeping me out!” in a Mental
Health course. In a search committee meeting, she joked, “if we cannot
pronounce their names, we should throw them out of the pool.” My friend
told me that she cautioned him not to hang out with the black people on
campus. Her Latin American racial hierarchy brand of racism speaks loud
and clear in her words and action. Not to limit her unethical behavior
to bigotry, she claimed credit for a course I created in order to pad
her promotion case.
You
probably have two thoughts going through your head right now. Wow, what
a fucking useless piece of shit, and what the fuck does this have to do
with Koko Taylor? I’m getting there, just keep your fucking pants on —
or not, this is Tickle Your Taint, you know. This fucking pussy cunt is
good friends with people who make the decisions in our department and
people in the administration. She is so tight with the powers that be
that when she dumped her assistant for having a baby (illegal, by the
way), it was chalked up to “cultural differences.” The fucking
shit-stain shouldn’t be teaching in a subway toilet, let alone an
institute of higher learning. Well, when you bring to light the actions
of this individual as well as others (apparently, it is ok to make shit
up to eliminate people of color from a hiring search), the folks in
positions of power do not like being outed for their racism, sexism, and
ableism. I have since been the target of a systematic program of
harassment and retaliation - part of the reason my contributions have
been pretty slim lately.
I
have had more than my share of bad days over the past few years. Now, I
understand that “bad days” is relative (during this period, my
brother’s house burned down - see my October 2013 Lynyrd Skynyrd review,
and one of my colleagues, lost his wife to a car accident), but each
attack and bullshit racist incident is like a fucking punt to the
gonads. So, I was in one of those moods as a result of the crap going
on, but I made one of my increasingly rare stops at the record shop.
Koko Taylor tends to be an exceptional find at most record stores in my
area. The blues section is limited to B.B. King and Stevie Ray Vaughan. I
happened across a Koko Taylor cd I did not recognize, From the Heart of a Woman.
The first song kicked off as we left the parking lot. It took a few
beats for me to ratchet up the volume on the stereo. Mmm, mmm, mmm.
Mother fucker.
“Something
Strange is Going On” does not have any direct connection to my own
experience, but that first howl just sends shivers down my spine. The
beat and the intensity of that voice just resonated with the anger and
disgust I was feeling for the way things were going down. Koko was
fucking killing it. Funky as shit. “I never heard a whispering cat.... I
am going to play big bad bulldog, catch that two-legged cat.”
Son-of-a-bitch. It has been a while since I played a song over and over
and over and over again. This was one of those. Fuck yea, Koko. Kill
that mother fucker.
What
really troubles me about Koko Taylor is that fact that she has so few
albums over her career, and she seems so under-appreciated. She really
should be as well known as B.B., Muddy, Howling, or John Lee. I would
understand it if she had a lackluster band backing her, or she only
really delivered on one or two songs on her albums. Not the case at all.
Her band fits her raucous style. From the Heart of a Woman
is pretty indicative of her range. Her songs are heartfelt ballads and
boogie woogie attacks on your booty. She inserts her visceral vocal
rattle at that crucial emotional moment in the song. I listen to a Koko
album, and I am ready to conquer the world. All the shit I have had to
endure during the week transforms from shotgun-sucking depression to
fuel for a fire-breathing assault on the powers that be.
From the Heart of a Woman
is a foot-tappin,’ finger snappin’ mother fucker. I am not sure if it
is her best album overall, but my head is shaking to the time of “It
Took a Long Time.” I need to get to bed so that I can get my ass up
tomorrow morning, but Koko made me run back to the fridge for a beer to
enjoy just a little more of her wailing, bluesy goodness.
All
the shit going down has really fucked with my shit. I sat in my kitchen
with a friend of mine trying to explain to him that he was not going to
get hired by my department, not because he was not qualified, but
because he was too good at mentoring students, especially students of
color. He questioned his own ability. This is someone who I recognize
as, easily, a better teacher and communicator than myself, and I am
known campus-wide for my courses (humility is not my strong suit). He
was recognized in a year what took me half a decade to develop as a
reputation. The fact that these racist fucks, from useless fucking
faculty who hand out grades with whoopie-cushion content to
administrators promoted above their level of incompetence, make this
superior teacher question himself makes me physically ill.
Each
injustice and bullshit “ism” have moved me from general thoughts of
suicide to concrete contemplations of the least traumatic ways to leave
my body for those who will find it. The best I have felt recently was in
a dream where I was handed a gas mask that would dispense a life-ending
gas. I breathed heavily as a feeling a peace washed over me. I can’t
even explain how exquisite this feeling was. It would soon be over. All
the shit was behind me, and then I realized all the obligations that I
had to others - what financial and other suffering would be imposed by
my loss. I removed the mask, and the stress and angst returned as I was
jolted awake from the dream.
Koko
Taylor is a bit of defense against tide of ignorance and hate that is
my workplace. We all have demons, some self-imposed and some from those
around us. Music is the palliative against the worst vagaries of the
brutality of our world. She delivers a blues that, instead of sinking in
self-wallowing pity, is a punch in the throat against the barriers that
are thrown in our way. A recent fortune cookie advised, “Fall down
seven times, get up eight.” This review is for all you mother fuckers
who have gotten up eight, nine, ten, fifteen, twenty, two hundred
fuckin’ times. Keep getting up. If you have some trouble, put in some
Koko Taylor. I will try to get up right along side you.
Koko’s From the Heart of a Woman gets three sweet sticky balls.
Sweet dreams mother fuckers,
Kloghole
Kloghole introduced me to Koko Taylor many years ago. She is awesome. It was good to be reminded her, as I want to dig through the music collection to find her discs. Keep at it.
ReplyDelete