There is a good chance you found us accidentally by using the word “taint” in your search (If you found us on purpose, you deserve our accolades). Of course we don’t know what you were looking for, but you stumbled on a damn cool project. Look around; let us help send you on a musical journey. Here you will find a number of album reviews from the strange and extreme to the tame and mainstream. Our reviewers are a bunch of obsessive miscreants. Most of us are avid music collectors and have been involved in the music world for decades. A couple of us have been in or are still in bands.
There are no rules on Tickle Your Taint Blog. Our reviewers might make you laugh, or piss you off; both results are legitimate. One reviewer might write a glowing review of an album another might tear it apart. We may end up adopting a single review system, such as five stars, or each reviewer may use his own or none at all. We may have a new review every week or we could end up with one every six months. This blog exists as a social experiment to build community among a diverse group of music maniacs – our reviewers and hopefully you. Pull down your knickers, lube up and join us in tickling yours and our taints.
If you are in a band, have released a physical (rather than an MP3) CD or record, and would like us to review your efforts, contact us at firstname.lastname@example.org
Tuesday, October 18, 2011
Reviewed by Jimmy “Explosive Diarrhea” B
Moments ago I was lounging on the sofa somewhere in between napping and reading when I heard some loud screeching. I thought to myself “Is that…could it be…am I hearing two cats fucking?” I couldn’t believe my ears. I dropped my book and sprinted to the window hoping to catch a glimpse of the feline fornication (I like to watch). But wait, it was about to get really strange; I thought I heard words coming from the cacophony the cats were creating. Huh? Then I noticed the kitty passion was in time with the music in the background. Then it hit me; I was listening to Exciter’s Violence and Force.
Why were the cats fucking to Exciter? Class Warrior would not approve of this bit of sexual heresy. And, why is my sleepy brain worried about Class Warrior’s sexual rituals? Perhaps being turned on by Exciter does make sense; check out these lyrics from “Pounding Metal:” “…gone past the pressures of pain, Leather and spikes strapped to the wrists of this metal brigade like pistons pumping…”
Pistons pumping? Case closed; Exciter makes metal to breed by. Exciter, like most early metal bands has dazzlingly silly lyrics. And it goes without saying, which is why I am saying it, that the production was complete shit. Is that reverb I hear on the vocals? I think it is.
Is there silliness? Check. Do the bad vocals make the neighborhood cats frisky? Check. Is it groundbreaking? Check. Exciter is a band I sometimes like to beat up on for their shortcomings. But I find myself coming back to Exciter again and again. I have been listening to them off and on since 1986. Twenty-five years later I still get a lot of enjoyment from listening to them, and Violence and Force is one of their best.
The cobwebs are clearing and I am bobbing my head in time to the music. Every time I listen to Exciter, I am struck by how much their style owes to Lemmy and the boys in Motorhead. They are not Motorhead clones; Exciter’s style is faster, dirtier and has a punk edge to it. Exciter is metal. They are ridiculous, but driving. They are gloriously low brow, but innovative.
Usually, when I listen to Violence and Force, I get lost in the groove. Today I am struck by John Ricci’s blistering guitar solos. The solo on “Swords of Darkness,” my favorite track on the record, is great. And how in the hell does Dan Beehler manage to keep time while…uh…ahem…singing?
Speaking of Dan Beehler’s vocals, the cats are gathering. My friends, I must end this so called review, and release the hounds. I must think of my standing on the block. What will the neighbors think about the feline orgy taking place outside my door? And how will they react to the home owner with an erection holding a video camera?
I tickled my taint for 7 minutes.