Reviewed by Jimmy “Explosive Diarrhea” B
This morning I was sitting on the porcelain throne thinking about music, metal in particular. Right now is a good time to be a metalhead. Moonspell, Opeth, Tiamat, Rotting Christ, Kampfar, and Lacrimas Profundere have all released new albums in the last two to five months – all good solid metal bands.
As I dropped a brick into the oily water inches below I lamented that as of today I had only managed to purchase one of the new metal releases, Tiamat’s new album, Amanathes. And as I pinched off another brown trout I wondered what the hell I had eaten the day before to cause all the discomfort I was experiencing – hot wings perhaps? I won’t bore you with all the gory details of my toilet adventures; I revere you, dear reader, too much to subject you to such unpleasant details.
But there is one thing more, one vital detail that I must tell you about; when I finally stood and turned around I noticed that there were two floating turds aligned in the shape of a “T.” Yes, today would be the day I reviewed Tiamat’s latest album.
Speaking of shit, I present to you Amanethes. It pains me to write about fecal matter and Tiamat together. Tiamat has been a very solid metal/dark rock band since 1990 when they released Sumerian Cry, an album I am listening to as I write this review. Sumerian Cry is very interesting; it’s heavy metal with some slow crunchy parts, already we can see some elements of future releases.
The music on every Tiamat album from the first to the last has been dark even the almost poppy Judas Christ album. Check out the following lyrics from the song Equinox of the Gods from Amanethes:
Crucify her upsidedown
Impale her with rusty nails
Dress her up in a blood red gown
And gory, beautifully painted veil
Let her bleed to death before our eyes
Oh ooh
May she be punished and sacrificed
(Oh ooh, oh yeah!)
The dirty nuns are in chains
No monasteries remain
The time has come for our Master to reign
That’s some seriously dark shit! Unfortunately the lyrical content is one of the few good and metal things about Amanathes. The album has very good production, and there is one good stand out track, Amanitis, which has some nice layering with strings and keyboards. There are a number of problems with the CD.
First and foremost is that Amanathes is boring. Tiamat are so determined to present the listener with an atmospheric experience that they overuse keyboards, and under use power chords which in itself is fine, but Tiamat haven’t replaced it with anything interesting such as a more progressive structure. Who the hell wants to listen to simplistic keyboard playing for an entire album, other than Rammstein fans?
Another problem is that Edlund, is completely monotone, which I realize is a goth vocal style and it works for other bands, but Edlund seems to be as bored and uninterested as the listener. With Amanethes, Tiamat are going in the same direction as Paradise Lost; they are becoming boring and generic.
I tickled my taint for 4.8 minutes
Splash and flush...there goes another interesting band down the toilet.
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