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There is a good chance you found us accidentally by using the word “taint” in your search (If you found us on purpose, you deserve our accolades). Of course, we don’t know what you were looking for, but you stumbled on a damn cool project. Look around; let us help send you on a musical journey. Here you will find a number of album reviews from the strange and extreme to the tame and mainstream. Our reviewers are a bunch of obsessive miscreants. Most of us are avid music collectors and have been involved in the music world for decades. A couple of us have been in or are still in bands.

There are no rules on Tickle Your Taint Blog. Our reviewers might make you laugh, or piss you off; both results are legitimate. One reviewer might write a glowing review of an album; another might tear it apart. We may have a new review every week, or we could end up with one every six months. This blog exists as a social experiment to build community among a diverse group of music maniacs – our reviewers and hopefully you.


Monday, December 21, 2020

Festivus Musical (and then Some) Grievances 2020

The year has been a long dumpster fire and shit show. There are too many grievances to list, so a few taint ticklers share short reflections on this front. 

 

Anita Papsmear:

 

  1. The white male patriarchy.
  2. Round Up pesticide.
  3. Racists.
  4. Elf on the Shelf.
  5. Mariah Carey’s Christmas Songs.
  6. Children in cages.
  7. “Christians.”
  8. The VID.

 

Jimmy “Explosive Diarrhea” B:

 

By now we have all said the same phrase about this year, “FUCK 2020.” So much of what made 2020 suck is well known to all of us, so I won’t waste any words on pandemic related items. Here are the minor complaints I have about a wasted year.

 

If you read the 2019 grievances, then you are aware of some disturbing Amebix and Tau Cross news. I am going to rehash this old news since Tau Cross released a new album in 2020. Rob Miller has become an alleged holocaust denier. I will get to that word “alleged” in a moment. The first two Tau Cross records, the only two I will ever own, are quite good. Rob Miller thanked a holocaust denier in the liner notes of the new album. Apparently, Rob read Gerard Menuhin’s book on the holocaust, and had his eyes opened to some alternate reality related to the Jewish experience. I have not read the book, and am taking it on faith that the internet news has it correct, hence my use of the word “alleged.” Tau Cross’ record label took it seriously enough to drop the band.

 

My second complaint is aimed at two people, Mrs. Explosive Diarrhea B and Adele. For some reason, my spouse is quite taken with Adele, and I have to admit that she has a good voice. But every fucking song sounds the same. I realize I am being a hypocrite since I love tons of bands that have the same problem. Something about Adele makes my sphincter pucker and blood pressure rise. Aaargh, I fucking hate it. My lawfully-wedded-wife only owns something like ten records, and one-fifth of them are Adele albums. They are in constant rotation.

 

Sonny James frustrates the shit out of me. I have been listening to a lot of Sonny James lately. This dude had a great voice, was a fantastic guitar player, was capable of great songs, but his songwriting was about as creative as Adele’s—mostly turds.

 

I am frustrated with all those non-touring bands who are not writing or recording. What’s the holdup? You can’t tour so get in the studio and do something with your time. If I can’t see you live, I should at least be listening to a new album. I keep reading how bands are writing new music or are in the studio. Where the fuck are the new records? Get off your asses you prima donnas. Shit, even Sun Ra released an album in 2020, and he has been dead for decades.

 

Opposed to those lazy non-touring musicians is Tanner Olson of Across Tundras. I swear this guy is putting out an album every week. I am going broke trying to keep up with him. Tanner, you don’t have to record every song. It’s okay to put one away in a drawer or file cabinet now and then, or better yet look into selling some songs to those bands sitting around with their thumbs and/or heads up their asses.


Null:

 

1.         Digital Music, across the board, fuck that shit.

 

2.         COVID-19. 

a.         All I wanted to do was hang out upstairs with my health care worker girlfriend, 

drink beer, watch Grizzly Adams, and listen to cassettes, but no. I’m in the basement by 

myself.

b.         No punk rock shows, or shows of any kind. Period.

c.         I couldn’t go hang out at the one used music store in town and shoot the shit with 

other music nerds.

d.         It was painful watching music venues close their doors for good.

e.         It was sad watching friends in the music industry lose their jobs.


3.         Nobody makes a high-quality ghetto baster with a cassette deck anymore. Nobody.

 

Scott:

 

In a year of mass deaths, which has included the loss of many musical artists, it feels strange to dwell on any one or two of them. But I was especially struck by the deaths of the drummer Sean Reinert and the bassist Sean Malone. Reinert died in January and Malone in December: sad bookends to a shitty year. They will be best remembered as members of Cynic, the incomparable technical death/prog metal band that, fifteen years after their 1993 debut, made an unlikely resurgence and released two excellent albums and EPs. But Reinert and Malone played together in other contexts as well, notably (for me) Malone’s instrumental prog project Gordian Knot. The song, “Reflections,” is one I have loved for a long time, but now it feels newly poignant after the sudden loss of these two supremely talented musicians.

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_jZdQO7FNnc

 

SoDak:

 

As Scott noted, the mass deaths associated with the ongoing spread of COVID-19 and the general march of global capitalism immiserating people’s lives are both terrifying and maddening. I am losing track the musicians who have died from the pandemic. Thus, it is with sheer disgust that I read about and hear yet another anti-mask song from bloated millionaires such as Van Morrison and the perpetual racist Eric Clapton. Fuck them.  

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