Fort Collins Soundtrack

By Jack Stephen

As I head to Fort Collins, Colorado, for the weekly open mic at The Comedy Fort, my home club, what am I going to listen to? (I recently switched to Deezer for my online music, as I can’t do Spotify anymore due to all the Artificial Intelligence bullshit.)

Leaving Loveland, I drive north on state highway 287. I must battle what has become an increasing amount of traffic over the years. To make matters worse, there is an annoying ignorance as to what lane to drive in. Not by me, I’m driving like a comic with a purpose. Those in the left lane who are not doing any passing should be pulled over and shot—well, maybe, they should just be ticketed, so those in a hurry to get signed up to try and tell some jokes, won’t be delayed.  

“Sly” by Herbie Hancock.

This song and album are the epitome of 1970s funk. I’m not sure anyone does it better. Herbie put together a pretty interesting band, which included Bernie Maupin (who also crushed it on Miles Davis’s Bitches Brew) on saxophones and Bill Summers playing a wide variety of percussion. While this album only has four tracks, it is probably most remembered for “Watermelon Man.” Nevertheless, “Sly” is an incredible jam. It starts with a very simple chill AAAB (repeated) set up, then goes on an insane journey to a stratosphere. There is a very interesting change around the seven-minute mark, almost as if Herbie throws the gloves off and says “Not fucking done yet!” This is one of those musical moments where if you were hearing this live in a club, random patrons would be yelling: “YEAH!” I am a pretty big fan of Herbie, as he has an incredible catalog that is about as deep as it gets. I remember my first exposure to his music was the epic breakdance track “Rock It.” “Don’t throw away that cardboard box, I’m going to try and spin on it with ‘Rock it’ on the Boombox!” Anyhow, “Sly” is a great track to get my head right to try and get these jokes straight.

“(Pa) Ubu Dance Party” by Pere Ubu.

I was in Los Angeles with a friend, smoking weed and drinking Modelo tall boys. He worked at Amoeba Records, probably one of the best record stores in the world, right there in Hollywood. I asked what his favorite band was, knowing he had about 5,000 records. He responded, “Pere Ubu.” (Lead guy David Thomas passed early this year, RIP.) I was not familiar with the band at all, but what a welcome suggestion. My friend grew up in Cleveland and caught Pere Ubu as they were coming up. Back then, they played a lot of warehouse shows—sounded like quite the scene! Pere Ubu was one of those bands that launched with a couple of outstanding early albums, with top tracks like “One Less Worry,” “Non-Alignment Pact,” and “30 Seconds Over Tokyo.” On their third and fourth albums, they picked up the guitar player, Mayo Thompson, from the band Red Krayola.” I think their unique vision petered out some, apart from the track “Rounder.” Anyway, both bands had some fun music that really was difficult to define. Was it post-punk or avant guard rock or what? I guess the best way to sum them up would be this quote from Arthur Schopenhauer: “Talent hits a target no one else can hit, genius hits a target no one else can see.”  Wise words to chew on as I think about my set and my act on the way to the mic. This track reverberating in my brain.  

“Vine Street” by Harry Nilsson. 

This is such a great song. The first forty-five seconds or so is a selection from a demo of the band reminisced about in the song. Genius! This song was written by Randy Newman of “Short People” and “I Love L.A.” fame. It was originally put out by Van Dyke Parks in 1967. Newman’s version is much slower and plodding; it’s tough going head-to-head with Nilsson, probably the greatest singer ever. I sure Newman was depressed to hear Nilsson nailing his songs much better than he ever would. This song takes you to a place, it is so poignant I can imagine being there, out in Los Angeles with all the other dreamers. Nilsson’s vocals are so excellent on this one, people might even remark as to the greatness of the background singers—surprise, those were done by Nilsson as well.  “That’s the tape that we made, sad to say it never made the grade.”

The Comedy Fort in Old Town Fort Collins on Monday is quite the scene. There’s been comics hitting the open mic there in one form or another for the last ten years. The hang out is a big part of it. There’s all the up and comers with some pros sprinkled in here and there. There’s a line out the door with comics waiting to get their name on the list—right at 6:30 PM when the door is opened. I relish seeing everyone and doing the obligatory fist bumps. You get the low down on the shows and who’s doing the producing and what jokes you like and whatnot. I enjoy wandering through, giving some shout outs and heading to the main stage room. I walk by the pictures of the comics on the wall, most of them are friends or at least acquaintances. I set up at a high top and shoot the breeze with a couple of the Denver comics who made the hour and a half to two-hour drive to do their four-minute sets. I am considered a regular, so I get a four-minute set as well. It’s great to pal and chum, maybe lay the groundwork for the chance spot on a Denver show with one of these guys or maybe work on going on the road. It is exciting, even though I feel my act is still in the incubation stage. This is ironic, because most Mondays, I’m the oldest guy who’s going to hit the stage.

What song is playing on the speaker before the show?

“Late in the Evening” by Paul Simon.

I always thought Simon and Garfunkel were a pretty cool folk band that wrote some world changing songs. But Paul Simon, as a solo artist, was a really special act. This song was on his One-Trick Pony album, which interestingly enough was a soundtrack to his movie of the same name. Released in 1980, it bombed pretty big at the box office but featured some fine performances by the great Rip Torn and Lou Reed. The story follows the journey of a former 1960s folk star, played by Paul Simon, who is trying to reinvent himself as a solo artist—real life! I agree that the movie was pretty pitiful, but it had a great soundtrack. Paul recently stated, I think on NPR, that his whole goal as a musician was just to write really great songs. I think he accomplished this with several different band iterations. Check out his self-titled solo album with the song “Papa Hobo.” Other notable early solo songs include “Slip Sliding Away,” “Kodachrome,” and “American Tune.” Then around 1986, he put together the great Graceland album. What an incredible album it is. “I Know What I Know” is such a cool track and let’s not forget “Under African Skies” with Linda Ronstadt on backup vocals. The African musicians added such a great dynamic to this album. And then, we come back to “Late in the Evening,” which I always love to sing the line, “I went out and smoked myself a j.” This seems like a good idea, but I think it would mess up my joke timing, so I’ll wait until after my set. “And it’s late in the evening, and I blew that room away!” Hopefully someday. (Note: Paul’s acting debut was in Annie Hall, RIP Diane Keaton.)

Tonight, at the Fort, there’s about twenty-four or so comics going up, including two hosts and a pro headliner who will do a ten-minute spot. Recently, the crowd has been fairly large, usually about thirty to forty people who make a great sounding board. Newbie comics get two minutes, some get three, and the regulars get four minutes. This doesn’t sound long, but its plenty of time to try a new bit or rework some old stuff with some new tags or whatnot. I typically find myself rushed at the end and usually try to squeeze one more joke, but its key not to be a dick and “run the light,” go over your time, as they say in the standup comedy game.

My set tonight, as written, is:

“Doing pretty good.”

“Fun Halloween costume—BBT aids.”

“Blackmail”—add new tags and early punch.

“Only Fans Fetish.”

“Bad at Dating 2,” add new tag.

“Illegal weed.”

“Sprouts market.”

“Mom driving.”

“Old Spice.”

“Uncles Bathroom #1 or #2.”

“Jehovah Witness.”

“Puberty.”

I figured this was probably about four minutes, but in reality I would be about ten seconds over. I was up in the second group. I wasn’t too pleased with my set, but it had some good pops. The response can be a bit hard to gauge as the crowd had already heard about fifteen comics already. I hung around for the set notes in the green room after the sign-up portion of the show and got a solid tag idea from a pro comic. I stayed to watch the headliner finish off the night and his act outs were working great. I wandered to the exit and gave some of the comics some props and loitered around outside while some people smoked, and everybody had some good comments/jokes about the evening—that’s what comics do. See y’all next week!

As I walk to my car, I usually hear the “voice” in my head. It sometimes likes to remind me something like “right now you could be the least funny person in town.” Then I remember, I am making progress and slowly finding my comic persona. I know one day—I’m going to be pretty excellent. I tell the voice to shut up as I get in my car and head back to Loveland.

What is on my playlist on the way back, after listening to my set recording?

“All the Things She Said by Simple Minds.

“Sweet Is the Night” by ELO.

“Mental Health” by Father John Misty.

“Live for You” by Thee Sacred Souls.

“I Wouldn’t Want to Be Like You,” by The Alan Parsons Project.

After I get home, I rewrite some jokes. I remember the important aphorisme: “To increase your success rate you double your failure rate.” Works, I guess, as long as you keep showing up.  This is something I intend to keep doing, because really at this point I don’t know how to stop. Well, maybe we’ll see where we’re at after I get my picture on the wall.  

What song am I listening to? 

“The Telephone Is Empty” by Love and Rockets.

I had a roommate when I lived in Boulder, let’s call him Q, and at the time he was a bit obsessed with the following albums: Let It Bleed by the Rolling Stones, Cleanse Fold and Manipulate by Skinny Puppy, and Express by Love and Rockets. He was a pretty interesting guy! Sure Let It Bleed is just fucking epic. Skinny Puppy, well it’s safe to say. they’re a pretty special band, whatever that means. But, Love and Rockets, for me, became the band that I never knew would just blow my mind. Led by David Ash (formerly of Bauhaus), Love and Rockets pushed the “New Wave” envelope, so to speak, and in a cool direction. Love and Rockets had some awesome songs and albums, check out Earth, Sun, and Moon or just the song “Yin and Yang (The Flower Pot Man.)” I also really enjoy David Ash’s side project, Tones on Tail. Back in the day, their song “Go” was the dance track at the 18+ bar Pogo’s on the hill in Boulder. Ash was a lead singer and a saxophone player—some guys could get away with that in the 1980s, and he was one of them. Thanks to Q for these selections, which are still on my brain and getting me through life, like all the other songs that are the soundtrack of my experience.  

What song is in my head as I head to bed?

“Rain Bird” by Love and Rockets.