Darkthrone - Circle the Wagons

Peaceville 2010

Reviewed by Dismal

Fuck yeah. New Darkthrone? Here’s my fucking vein, stick that shit in and fill me up homie. Seriously. New Darkthrone is better than heroin, and better than watching a methed-out kamikaze pilot slam plane-first into an aircraft carrier. Darkthrone is better than swine. This is saying something since I live and breathe in anticipation of my next delectable bite of pig. There is nothing better than every part of this one animal that evolved into such an incomprehensibly excellent tasting beast. When I tried to go vegetarian I even attempted to rationalize the continued devouring of pork by trying to figure out how it could be a vegetable, or grain, or something I could eat had I chosen to give up meat. Sadly, a pig is not a vegetable. So I gave up being a vegetarian because pigs pump thick delicious blood through their veins and well, fuck, I love to eat pigs. Magnify this obsession ten-fold and you have how much I love Darkthrone, especially new Darkthrone.

Three albums prior to Circle the Wagons, Fenriz and Nocturno Culto decided to continue to shift their musical focus from their pioneering Black Metal sound to a sound more in line with their love of crust, Hellhammer, Motorhead, Manilla Road, Agent Steel, Uriah Heep, and whatever other nearly forgotten piece of Metal History they unearthed in their vinyl collections and listened to in the claustrophobic Norwegian winters. This is the continuation of their brilliance and anti-scene stance that started in The Cult Is Alive.

Following Fenriz’s very publicly stated views on the Black Metal trend and the Metal Scene in general (as espoused in interviews, Until the Light Takes Us, and linear notes), the last four Darkthrone albums are finely honed knives to be used on the corpses of rotting Metal scenes and genre specific trends. Circle the Wagons proudly proclaims on the back that you, the listener, need to “break your chains or circle your wagons.” What the hell does that even mean? Here it is cut and dry for the sonic pirates, the wannabe underground, the scene kids, the trendies, and the established sonic merchants who feed fake punk and metal to the masses, you assholes think ya’ll are pioneers, charting a new course for the future of Metal (or even dare I speak the name of the dead Punk?). Think you are pioneers all you want, just remember what happens when those pioneers run across Indians, outlaws, and rival pioneers. You circle your wagons and hope you don’t die a bloody inglorious death. Figure out the rest for yourself. The title track off Circle the Wagons spells it out pretty well.

Here is all that you, the hopefully discerning music listener needs to know about this punishing album. If you like any of the following bands in a non-ironic hipster scenester fuckhead way, then you will love this album. If you like Motorhead, Inepsy, World Burns to Death, Deathside, Agent Steel, Bloodwulf, Manilla Road, English Dogs, Hellhammer, Amebix, Discharge, or just really love Darkthrone, pull out the money and get yourself a copy of this fucking album. Remember the battle cry from I am the Graves of the 1980s, “Destroy their modern metal and bang your fuckin’ head.”

Final Musings: Is it tickle my taint worthy? Fuck yes. It tickles, licks, bites, and nibbles my taint. I can’t even get this kind of immaculate service on the gooch if I dropped piles of Benjamins on the sort of professional that would stoop to such artistry. Buy this record. Bang your head.