By Beert
I’m not sure how it happened, but I have found myself drawn to a genre that can be described as bubblegum punk. My tastes are varied, and I do enjoy good music of whatever genre—good music being subjective to the listener, of course. Typically, I listen to a lot of doom and some harder-edged punk. But bubblegum punk has a certain quality of fun and positivity, even in its negativity, that is irresistible. Somehow, I found my way to Hayley and the Crushers.
Hayley and the Crushers hail from San Luis Obispo, California. The feeling of California is all over this band. With Hayley Crusher Cain leading the charge with great blasts of guitar energy and a fun, bouncy vocal style that comes across as an audio smile, you can’t help but find yourself drawn in from the start. Dr. Cain pounds away on the bass, doing some reply grooved runs here and there, of which the full effect comes forth. The band has a rotating cast of drummers. They have been backed up by solid percussionists on all of their records. On Vintage Millennial, their drummer is the unshakeable Ben Cabreana.
Vintage Millennial is the third full length offering from this magical trio, released in early 2020. They have put out a heap of singles and EPs as well. I strongly recommend everything.
Vintage Millennial starts out with a banger, “Put a Little Action In Ya.” The song has a great bounce and drive that almost requires you to do handclaps along with the band. There is such musical power within, but kept back just enough to have you dancing along from the start. The song itself, to this listener, who has a tendency to not be qualified to actually interpret lyrics, is about getting an expression of love from a significant other, before an absence, in a primal way.
The night is young
And I’m feelin so tuff
I wanna feel the animal scratching, yeah
When I feel the animal side.
This is a great start to the album. You immediately get the feel of the band and the lyrical content of the album as a whole. It creates a desire to just keep the album going.
“Kiss Me So I Can” resonates deeply with me. It serves as a stark realization that slipping into a rut within a relationship requires work to get out of it, in order to keep the love burning between those involved. This song brings up the idea of “just a kiss” to stoke the fire, to find that love that sometimes get lost in the shuffle.
Set the alarm, we’re not getting younger
Clear us a date, find us a way
To stop this bridge from burning.
I think Hayley has found a way to put these feelings into words, expertly. Musically, this song is a little more somber while maintaining a danceability. (Yes, I have danced around my apartment to this album on numerous occasions.) The farfisa hidden in the backdrop of the song adds a great touch.
“Poison Box” brings the drive back. Musically, the song is a tribute to 1980s style of punk, without feeling dated. There is a mash of influence from numerous bands in this song, all while remaining original. The song relates to Germany and World War II, specifically focusing on when the Allied forces were wondering what to do with Hitler’s Mean Kampf. Instead of burning books, to avoid seeming like the fascism they destroyed, the “poisonous” books were locked away (a good explanation can be found here:
https://99percentinvisible.org/episode/the-giftschrank/). Given the subject matter, there are some German phrases within the song.
“If You Wanna Dance” conjures up a Go-Go’s feel, as much as I hate to offer straight up comparisons. But this song moves much the same, with a little heavier hand on the low end by Dr. Cain. It’s a very fun and active song. And once again we’re in a situation of creating love and passion in the song.
If you wanna stay, OK
If you wanna take me home
We’re all looking for a little release
We’re all looking for a heart of gold.
Again, Hayley has a way of getting what’s in her head and heart, out into lyrics. Something a lot of us have trouble doing (by “a lot of us,” I mean me, specifically). A total love song from top to bottom.
“Water on Glass” comes up next. This a cover of a Kim Wilde song, where the band tips the hat to the 1980s. I really appreciate how they make this song their own, while holding true to it. The choice of going with “Water on Glass” over a hit such as “Kids In America” is a great move.
The song “Forever Grom” closes out side A. It offers a definite foray into surf exotica. And, really, what else could define California beach culture more? With Dr. Cain riding waves and Hayley known for playing live in a swimsuit, this song almost defines the band. It’s a great instrumental, albeit, I wish the version was a little longer. And, if I may say, I could see this song fitting perfectly into the episode of Lancelot Link, where we find the secret chimp riding the waves to apprehend his nemesis in C.H.U.M.P. Am I dating myself?
Flipping this bright pink album over, we head into side B.
“Shoulda Been Shangela” kicks things off. This is a great pop-culture song, referencing the bands opinion that the wrong person won RuPaul’s Drag Race All Stars 3. I must admit that I have not been ensnared by this show, but this song makes me want to take a look at it. While the song offers a light-hearted overview, there is a deeper meaning. It addresses offering sympathy and unity to people who are not comfortable in their own skin, especially in context where they feel required to conform.
What kind of world is this Texas town for a cross dressing kid
The cheer squad couldn’t protect you from the obnoxious, dumb, and cruel
They were so cruel!
Ultimately, this song is not about a television contest, but about the fear that people have of someone different, and how that exacerbates the fear of being someone different. It is about the feeling of fighting so hard to break out of a preconceived shell to become who you are, to strive to be your true self, your best self, even if you cannot quite attain what should have been yours all along. I love that all of this is tackled in this song. Lower tones are used throughout the song, along with quick bursts on the tiny strings to accentuate the vocals. It is a really great song through and through.
Following this, there is a great cover of X’s “Los Angeles.” And holy living fuck, do they nail this rendition. X is a great band, and Hayley and the Crushers doing X is a fantastic treat. Given that the band has some roots in LA, if I’m not mistaken, they play this song with heart. It is a really solid nod of respect to X.
“Gabbie Is a Domme” follows this up with a true story of a sex worker Hayley knew. It notes Gabbie’s decision to move up to a higher-paying position in a dungeon. And let’s face it, it is rare that a band can talk about something like this without adding an air of negativity or judgment. With Hayley and the Crushers, the only judgment is of respect and pride in Gabbie taking charge of her life and career, doing something even more empowering and gaining a better living in doing so.
I can see her, whip & chain in hand
And the nights she used to cry
All the boys will learn to stand in line
To get a taste of her rage.
This is a great feminist, pro-sex worker song, if there ever was one. There is even some killer glockenspiel work and reversed surf guitar thrown into the mix. Solid.
“I Don’t Wanna Be Like Johnny Ramone” brings us almost to the end of the album. It is a tight rager, commenting on Johnny Ramone and his attitude as he aged. It is a blatant rip on sucking all the fun out the Ramones and what the Ramones stood for.
Johnny he Johnny just look at your health
Everybody knows that you're losin’ it
Johnny hey baby maybe take a vacation
Meditation can be an ok respite
Loosen your Levis and let down ur hair
Have one beer, I swear nobody will give a care if u do.
Fire.
The album winds down with “Attention Shoppers.” This song is oddly prophetic. As the album came out in January, this song seems to address the insanity associated with the pandemic plaguing the world at this time—especially the United States, thanks to our inept leadership. This a very Ramonesesque song, to me. I could easily hear Joey singing this song, if he were around today. By the way, the thought of Joey doing a guest vocal on a Hayley and the Crushers song would be an ideal combo, if only this was possible.
Don’t be alarmed
You can’t leave, lockdown emergency
We’ll be in the dark only momentarily.
Hayley and the Crushers bring a great time through music. They’re uplifting and fun, even when the subject matter may not be match for the music, which is something I love. This combination is much like the old Screeching Weasel/Born Against split, where each band, very different in style, wrote songs for the other to sing.
Suffice it to say, I am in love with this band. They are very much my top choice in this style of music. I highly recommend them to everyone—even weirdos like me, looking haggard in an Acid King t-shirt. I think anyone can find some enjoyment with Hayley and the Crushers. Come on everybody...Get Crushed!
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