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There is a good chance you found us accidentally by using the word “taint” in your search (If you found us on purpose, you deserve our accolades). Of course, we don’t know what you were looking for, but you stumbled on a damn cool project. Look around; let us help send you on a musical journey. Here you will find a number of album reviews from the strange and extreme to the tame and mainstream. Our reviewers are a bunch of obsessive miscreants. Most of us are avid music collectors and have been involved in the music world for decades. A couple of us have been in or are still in bands.

There are no rules on Tickle Your Taint Blog. Our reviewers might make you laugh, or piss you off; both results are legitimate. One reviewer might write a glowing review of an album; another might tear it apart. We may have a new review every week, or we could end up with one every six months. This blog exists as a social experiment to build community among a diverse group of music maniacs – our reviewers and hopefully you.


Monday, January 16, 2017

Joe Pesci, Vincent Laguardia Gambini Sings Just for You (Columbia, 1998)

By Jimmy “cacare frequenti” B

Pesci is a friend of mine. He was warned once before when he tried to go straight by making his Little Joe album back in 1968. This time he is trying to hide behind the fugazi name of Vincent Laguardia Gambini. The capo isn’t going to like this. Yeah, Pesci put out an album of fun songs, and youse are going to like some of them. I hope this album never makes it to Youtube or gets reviewed on the fucking internet. This fuck, Pesci, swore omerto, and he is, with his limited but mostly in tune singing voice, describing crimes he has committed. Jesus Christ, he even lets the pigs know our methodology with lyrics like, “I don’t drive by, cause I’m a wiseguy, I just drop by with a couple of guys, and I take your eyes, cause I’m a wiseguy.” Now every screw on the east coast knows a corpse with missing eyes was whacked by a guy from our arm. Pesci could probably get away with this if he was a big earner. But with this poorly received album he will barely make the vig. 

And, what’s with this goombah’s misogyny. This guy sings about how he is banging chicks all over town. Fuck, he tells us he might even be fucking our wives and girlfriends. His problems with his coumare are legendary, but for fuck's sake why must this guy tell the whole world about his puttanti. “Shove your love up your big fat ass,” he tells her. And he accuses her of having a crack pipe stuck in her ass. This is bad enough in private, but now everyone knows his problems. And, that, my friends, makes it our problem. We may have to send him a strong message, if you know what I mean. 

Actually, this fucks attempt at a Christmas song and his cover of “It’s a Wonderful World” may have already bumped off this records short life. Youse should probably have a sit down and listen to this cafone’s record before deciding on a course of action. It is a mixed bag.

Solleticare la mia macchia per quattro minuti.

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