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There is a good chance you found us accidentally by using the word “taint” in your search (If you found us on purpose, you deserve our accolades). Of course, we don’t know what you were looking for, but you stumbled on a damn cool project. Look around; let us help send you on a musical journey. Here you will find a number of album reviews from the strange and extreme to the tame and mainstream. Our reviewers are a bunch of obsessive miscreants. Most of us are avid music collectors and have been involved in the music world for decades. A couple of us have been in or are still in bands.

There are no rules on Tickle Your Taint Blog. Our reviewers might make you laugh, or piss you off; both results are legitimate. One reviewer might write a glowing review of an album; another might tear it apart. We may have a new review every week, or we could end up with one every six months. This blog exists as a social experiment to build community among a diverse group of music maniacs – our reviewers and hopefully you.


Sunday, January 5, 2020

Null’s 2019 Musical Obsessions

Null’s 2019 Musical Obsessions

By Null

Unlike the last several years, I think this was a great year for me, musically speaking. I found some great record labels and some great punk rock bands. As usual, I followed my muse wherever it took me.
Nineteen Something/Twenty Something Record Label (France).
This label alone rejuvenated my belief in the old ethos of punk rock—diversity and solidarity. This is a record label that is named after Les Thugs’s Nineteen Something (1998). The name of the record label attracted my attention because of the Les Thugs connection. Les Thugs are one of my favorite punk rock bands. Really this is two labels in one. All of the records they release that were recorded in the twentieth century are on the Nineteen Something label, whereas the records they put out that were recorded post-2000 appear on the Twenty Something label. I thought that was pretty clever. Their prices are reasonable, their shipping is fast, and they put out a lot of great bands. SoDak (a reviewer from Tickle Your Taint) helped me navigate my first order. Considering that the website is in French, when ordering from the website it is necessary to open two pages, one translated to English and one in the original French. The orders must be made from the French site. I found many great records from Nineteen Something/Twenty Something label this year: Les Thugs reissues, LANE (a Les Thugs offshoot), Zero Gain, Foggy Bottom, Jive Puzzle, The Noodles, Fixed Up, and the label’s Sampler #1 that comes with a mail order. Check’em out at: https://nineteensomething.fr/.
Note: the following 7 albums are from said label.


LANE (Love And Noise Experiment), Teaching Not to Pray EP (2018) and A Shiny Day LP (2019) (Twenty Something).
Finally a few guys from Les Thugs decided to start a new band. Same romance, same politics. I love it.




Various Artists/Compilation, Nineteen Something: Sampler #1.
This is one of the best label samplers I have ever heard. It just kicks ass all the way around. In addition, it has a cool-ass album cover with Pierre-Yves Sourice, from Les Thugs, playing bass.  The album includes: Skippies, Les Maniacs, Dickybird, Shredded Ermines, Suba Drivers, Thompson Rollets, Les Thugs, The Noodles, Hydrolic Systems, Dirty Hands, Les Soucoupes Violentes, The Chasmbats, Sixpack, garlic Frog Diet, Casbah Club, Wild Child, Les Rats, Ravi, Burning Heads.
I received a few copies of this with my mail orders, but I think the digital version has a different track list. Digital music sucks. Get a real copy.


Zero Gain, Modern Blues: The First Five Years (Twenty Something, 2019).
Zero Gain sing in English and their lyrics are classic working class, pissed-off, left-wing pleas for justice. Classic punk rock with a classic punk rock sound.  




Foggy Bottom, Une Histoire à l'Envers (Twenty Something, 2019).
Foggy Bottom is more in the “My Bloody Valentine” realm of punk rock. I hear a little Jonny Marr in here too. Their music is romantic and dreamy. It is great for driving through the mountains. They are a three piece that sing in French. I have had a few interactions on line with the guitarist/lead vocalist, David Valli, and he seems like a great guy. I also picked their previous album, Sur Le Fil (2017), and it is great as well.





The Noodles, 1985-1988 (Nineteen Something, 2017).
I don’t know much about The Noodles, but this is a great album. They sing in English and have hints of new wave embedded in their particular brand of punk rock. The recording sounds great because it isn’t over-produced. I believe this is a collection of singles and EPs. Good stuff.




Jive Puzzle, Where Is Love? (Twenty Something, 2004).
Jive Puzzle appears to have been a one-off collective of various musicians in the French music scene. I was drawn to this due to the inclusion on Eric Source of Les Thugs (currently in LANE). This is a great album. It is part mellow jazz, part ambient, and part groove music. Some of it is sung in French and some in English. The lyrics I can make out are still punk rock, but this is defiantly a chill-out album. I love it. It reminds me of the days before the hegemony of “punk.” This stuff is so underground that no one has even posted a song on Youtube. That is why I don’t have a song for you to listen to.


Fixed Up, Who Is Innocent?: A Singles Collection 1983-1987 (Nineteen Something, 2017).
You guessed it, even more great garage punk from this amazing label. 


FTWNU2 Record Label (USA).
FTWNU2 is a record label out of Minnesota that signs local bands from around the St.Paul-Minneapolis area. It is run by a beautiful and kind man, who is also a great tattoo artist, Dan Dittmer. The label specializes in punk/hardcore/metal type stuff. This is a very small-scale DIY label that is very aesthetically old school with fold out posters/lyric sheets in its vinyl and CDs. Stickers. Patches. You get the idea. Check’em out here: https://www.ftwnu2.com.
Note: the next 3 bands are all on the FTWNU2 label.





Bonefire, Fade and Decay (FTWNU2, 2019), Murderapolis (FTWNU2, 2018).
For me, Bonefire are the punk rock offspring of Motorhead; they have that “sandstorm sound” that I equate with Motorhead. However, Bonefire are more of the mature punk rock types. The music is intense and the lyrics are great. For instance the song “Fade and Decay,” from the album of the same name, almost always brings a tear to my eye because it speaks of getting older and watching one’s life and loved ones fade away, as death is the ultimate end for us all. The song “Media Slave” critiques social media and its negative effect on individuals and the community. Great guys. Great band. Great t-shirts.











Dissident Clone, Civilized (FTWNU2, 2018), Creating the Consumed 7” EP (FTWNU2, 2016), State of DysphoriaDigital EP (FTWNU2, 2014).
I’m not a big fan of death metal, but I love Cannibal Corpse. I think they are called “extreme death metal,” or something. There are so many subgenres in metal that I have a hard time keeping up. At any rate, I have had a difficult time finding another death metal band that I like…until I heard Dissident Clone. I don’t know if this is grindcore-deathmetal-rabbitskull-clustefuckironface or whatever ya call it, but I instantly loved it. They lyrics are political, which is a welcomed change compared to Cannibal’s cartoonish gore fest. Dissident Clone lyrics are great, but you’re gonna need the lyrics sheet. So many different voices. I laugh out loud in pure joy listening to how crazy some of this sounds. Only two people are in this band. They are extremely talented. This stuff is intense, but when all else fails, these guy scratch that itch. I love it.




Trinity Test, Trinity Test (FTWNU2, 2019).
Trinity Test is another great FTWNU2 band, except they are more of a traditional punk rock band than the previous two bands. The album sounds a little lo-fi, but that only results in a feeling of authenticity. Good lyrics and possibly the greatest album cover of the year. Keep your kids away from Catholic priests and Donald Trumps. 
Trinity Test has a new album coming out soon.




Prince, 1999 (remastered 6 CD Box Set) (WB, 2019).
When I was kid, this album changed my life. It was the first full-length album I bought with my own money; it was 1982 and I was 9 years old. I had never heard anything like this before. The album was weird, hyper-sexual, mysterious, dangerous, and futuristic. Prince played every instrument on all these studio recordings except for the guitar solo in “Little Red Corvette” and the some background vocals by Lisa, Jill, and Dex. Prince was on fire during this period. The unreleased tracks from the vault are great, and when they’re not great, they are at least colorful and interesting. I’m not saying I’m going to listen to this a lot, but when you are in the mood, it’s incredible to take it all in. Everything about this box set is cool. 




Shocking Blue, Blue Box (13 discs) (Red Bullet, 2017).
These guys were a band from Holland. They were around from the mid-60s to the mid-70s. You would know them from their big hit “Venus,” and Nirvana’s cover of their song “Love Buzz.” I was blown away by how good this band was; mainly due to the seemingly endless creativity of main songwriter and guitarist/multi-instrumentalist Robbie van Leeuwen. The second to fifth albums are 60s psychedelic pop perfection. Included are two discs of a-sides and b-sides, most of which do not appear on any albums. Every song has a hook and some new sound to keep the listener interested. Their brilliance starts to fade near the end, but they were on fire for a good spell.




Bad Religion, Age of Unreason (Epitaph, 2019).
I love all of Bad Religion’s records, even the “bad” ones, which are still better than most people’s “good” ones. I have cried at Bad Religion concerts. So, I’m in deep already. However, I think Age of Unreason is exceptional. It is a just response to the world and times we live in. Get out your lyric sheets. Also, the new drummer, Jamie, is the shit. He’s not as “Neil Pert-y” as Brooks, but he is more punk rock.




Billy Bragg, Best of Billy Bragg at the BBC: 1983-2019 (Cooking Vinyl, 2019).
They called him “the one-man Clash” for a reason. This record is loaded with 38 reasons why I love Billy Bragg so much. He can be poignant and dark, or wistful and witty. With songs about love, life, death, and, of course, socialist revolution; he basically sings my life to me. I still can’t get through “Tank Park Salute” without crying. Play Billy at my funeral. 







Smashing Pumpkins, Gish, Siamese Dream, and Pisces Iscariot Box Sets/Deluxe Editions (Virgin, 2011).
I had the first two Smashing Pumpkins albums when they came out in 1991, 1993, and the unreleased songs on Pieces Iscariot when it came out in 1994. It was the third album released by the band, but it wasn’t officially their third album. I never thought I was a huge Smashing Pumpkins fan; however, I always thought the guitar sound on Siamese Dreamwas fucking mental. So I guess I always liked these albums, but I haven’t listened to them much over the last 15 years. I lost interest in the band and just stopped caring. They stopped doing that thing I liked. Billy Corgan became very annoying as well. Earlier this year I picked up the Siamese Dream box set and loved it. The extra disc was great. Out of curiosity, I picked up the other two and loved them as well. I was reminded how much I liked the thick, romantic, psychedelic guitar sound and the great drumming by Jimmy Chamberlin. I still think “Mayonnaise” is heart-wrenchingly beautiful. The Pisces Iscariot box set comes with an early demo cassette tape that is also pretty awesome. All the box sets come with DVDs of live shows that I have little or no interest in. Smashing Pumpkins were a great band at the time and made some great sounding records in the early 90s. I’ll put these away for a while, but I don’t regret picking them up. I guess I am a pretty big fan until about 1995. This song “Everything and Nothing” from the 1988 demo tape is pretty great. It kinda sounds like early Cult.




Son Volt, Union (Transmit Sound, 2019).
Much like this year’s Bad Religion album, the new Son Volt album has its sights set on our lives and times. This album is a masterpiece and both devastatingly powerful and sad. Could Jay Farrar be the missing link between Robert Smith and Woody Guthrie? Underneath it all one can’t help but hear the rumblings of revolution.




Talking Heads, The Best of the Talking Heads (Rhino, 2004).
I picked this up on a whim. I have a Talking Heads box set and the masterpiece Remain in Light, so I’m pretty sure I already have all of these songs. Still, when I put it in my CD player, it stayed there for a very, very long time.




Grateful Dead, Cornell 5/8/77 (Live) (Rhino, 2017).
When the Grateful Dead played live it could be amazing or it could be a train wreck, circus, dumpster fire. This live show from 1977 is one of the best. They actually sound like a rock band. I read somewhere that they rehearsed before this tour. Yes, I said rehearsed. It is amazing what a band can do when they rehearse. Even “Dancing in the Streets,” which usually makes me want to put an ice pick in my head, is blazing at this show. It even has some kind of syncopated Fugazi breakdown in the middle. If you don’t like the Dead, then you will hate it anyway, but if you are Dead-curious this is one of a handful of shows that illustrate what they were capable of doing. As far as live stuff, this is up there with Europe 72 and Without a Net, except this is like their funk/groove live album.




Queen, Bohemian Rhapsody (The Original Soundtrack) (Hollywood, 2018).
I think Queen was an immensely talented band. I’m sure this is beyond dispute. Yet, for some reason I always tend to tire of them before a record’s end. I grew up with the News of the World album with that sinister giant robot dude on the cover. I can listen to that one without a hitch, but when it comes to other albums, even their Greatest Hits, I become fatigued before the end. After seeing the movie, Bohemian Rhapsody, I picked up the soundtrack. Hooray for me. I found another great Queen album, that, for some reason, I can listen to in its totality with ease and enjoyment.




Sacred Reich, Awakening (Metal Blade, 2019).
When I first picked this album up after SoDak suggested it, I didn’t realize this was the first new record by the “Arizona Thrash Legends” in 20 years! Before owning this new record, I only had their very first record, Ignorance, from 1987. Where Ignorance is more thrash-punk, this album is more groove oriented and laidback. It still blazes with some fast tempos, but it also settles into some deep pocket grooves that the band drives home. In general, I’m not a big fan of thrash, but I love this album, and it doesn’t really feel like “thrash” to me. The political lyrics are still left-wing with a defiantly heart-on-sleeve delivery. This band is not trying to impress anyone, which could be why it feels so honest and real. Fuck Trump.




Willie Nelson, Stardust (2 CD 30th Anniversary Legacy Edition) (Columbia, 2008).
With every year that passes, I become more of a Willie Nelson fan. He is a great songwriter and I love hearing the beautiful songs that he writes, which is why I never picked up this classic album of standards. Having listened to it a million times this year, I can honestly say that if people had this album and listened to it daily, they wouldn’t need anti-anxiety pills. Like Billy Bragg, Willie sooths my soul without necessarily lying to me. This 2 disc version is the cure for most ailments. I love it.




Leaving Neverland Documentary, Directed by Dan Reed.
This was a fucking rabbit hole of pain, childhood memories, fascination, horror, and disgust. I thought this documentary was very well made, and the subject matter was disturbing on more levels than I can count. It’s like an onion that you keep peeling, but no center is revealed. Though it isn’t about music, it did send me back to the Jackson 5, Jacksons, and Michael Jackson albums I loved in my youth. After watching this documentary 4 times over the course of 2 months, I asked myself. “I wonder what it will feel like to listen to Michael Jackson after watching this.” Well, it was uneasy, sad, and intriguing. In my obsessive, compulsive way, I actually completed my Michael Jackson collection. Much of it was creepy and not very good. However, I was reminded of the great gems that are found throughout his entire career. This whole endeavor was slightly uncomfortable. I feel sad for the victims, and even though it made me hate Michael Jackson, it also made me realize that he himself was a victim. I guess I don’t really hate him. I mean, even as a child I knew he was fucked up. Didn’t we all? Still, to hear the manipulation and power that he used to get what he wanted was sickening. To see the star-struck parents who lose any sense of normalcy was also disheartening. This is how the super-rich maneuver their way through the world. For Michael Jackson, though, the complications are endless. It’s complicated. For me, this documentary was also about class. Jeffery Epstein and Harvey Weinstein anyone? This whole world of wealth and Hollywood is all full of fake and phony lives. It’s all a deceptive lie. America laps it up at every turn.




Motorhead, Overnight Sensation (Steamhammer, 1996).
Let’s end on a good note. I could not stop listening to this kick-ass album. It made me very happy.

Wednesday, January 1, 2020

Dale M.’s Best of 2019

By Dale M. 


The YOB show at the WOW Hall in Eugene, Oregon. One of my best of 2018 was YOB’s Our Raw Heart. Seeing them perform live this year only solidified why they made the list.  Unfortunately, this was the only show I saw in 2019.  

Riot City, Burn the Night (2019).
I think I took a time machine back to 1984 listening to this. Riot City is finally a group who is able to bring the essence of 1980s metal into the present. If you like Overkill, Fates Warning, Helloween, Iron Maiden, and Metal Church listen to this, then listen to something actually from the 80s. Would it pass the Pepsi Challenge other than the production?

Black Tusk, TCBT (2018).

Conan, Existential Void Guardian (2018).

Born/Dead, Out Darkest Fears Now Haunt Us (2003).

Red Fang, Only Ghosts (2016).

Jimmy “Explosive Diarrhea” B’s 2019 Musical Obsessions

By Jimmy “Explosive Diarrhea” B:

Writing the end of the year obsession list is always a difficult task. I keep track of purchases in a spreadsheet, which should make it simple. But, compiling this list means two things. First, pulling records off the shelf and spending days reacquainting myself with music I bought early in the year. Second, I worry that I missed something important, and I always do. Anyhow, here is what I came up with.

De Lorians, De Lorians (2019). 
I was in a record store in Eugene, Oregon, and this album was being played by the righteous dude in charge that afternoon. Another guy and I were chatting about Les Claypool, when we heard the amazing prog sounds of De Lorians; we both nearly shit ourselves. The other guy beat me to the counter to reserve the store’s last copy. Luckily, he was even more a record junky than I am, and he found too many records and had to abandon De Lorians. I won the musical lottery, and bought one of the great prog rock/jazz fusion albums of the year.

Billy Cobham. 
I have known about Billy Cobham for a long time. He was in John Mclaughlin’s Mahivishnu Orchestra. For some reason, I always ignored his records in record stores. In 2019, I made the leap, and bought four of Cobham’s albums. Cobham is a great drummer, and his musical genre is jazz fusion. He is a fusion master. As a side note, I was in a stereo store talking to the manager about stereo gear and music. He took me into a side room and played Cobham for me on a $30K stereo system. It was fucking awesome.

Brain Tentacles, Brain Tentacles (2016). 
I am a huge Bruce Lamont fan. He is (usually) a saxophonist and was the heart of the Chicago metal band Yakuza. Lamont is a hard man to keep up with. He seems to be constantly recording. One of his recent projects is Brain Tentacles. I was really bummed out when Yakuza called it a day. But BT is a damn good substitute. It is aggressive metal with noisy sax parts. Dale gets a special shout out for helping me find this album. He kept telling me about a bunch of Relapse bands so when I visited the label’s website, I found BT. Thanks Dale!

Consider the Source, You Are Literally a Metaphor (2019). 
Consider the Source is from the East Coast, and I had been wanting to see them for years, but they never seemed willing to tour nationally. That all changed two years ago. This year they played Eugene, Oregon, in support of their brand-new album, …Metaphor. Mrs. B and I made the trek, and the show was great. For those who don’t know, CTS plays rock fused together with jazz and eastern music. They may be one of the most talented trios touring today—this is not the first time they made my year end list.

Sons of Kemet, Your Queen Is a Reptile (2018). 
I am really not sure why a queen is a reptile, but I also don’t give a fig! Sons of Kemet play a very accessible New Orleans style jazz that gets your head bobbing and your feet tapping. I described them to SoDak as a high-school jazz band gone rogue. This is a rather crass description, but there is an element of truth to it, but only because of the tuba. I can count on two fingers how many jazz recordings I have heard with a tuba (the other tuba album also made this list). This album has some good politics as well. It reminds me of some of the 1960s freedom jazz recordings.

Theon Cross, Fyah (2019). 
This is the other album with a tuba player. He is in fact the tuba player from Sons of Kemet. Either Cross is an absolute genius or I have underestimated the tuba. The man plays a lot of notes and forces that tuba to make odd sounds. It is awesome.

Max Roach, Max Roach’s Freedom Now Suite: We Insist (1960).
I am always resistant to listening to the pioneers of modern jazz. I find much of it to be boring, John Coltrane for example. But I was intrigued by the title of this record so I bought it. This record is fucking great, and so are the politics. If you are hankering for some freedom jazz, this will tickle your taint.

I consider these next four picks to be comeback albums of sorts.

Sean Noonan, Tan Man’s Hat (2019). 
Anyone familiar with the kraut rock band CAN has heard of Malcom Mooney. Mooney was CAN’s original vocalist (it wouldn’t be appropriate to call him a singer). I figured he was either dead or retired, so I was ecstatic (I may have orgasmed) when I found out he was featured on a Sean Noonan record, and it is a fantastic record. All fans of CAN should buy this one.

The Huntress and the Holder of Hands, Avalon (2017). 
One of the great folk/bluegrass/pop bands I have seen live was Brownbird. I saw them open for The Devil Makes Three, and Brownbird blew the Three off the stage. Brownbird was a male and female duo who were romantically linked. One-half of the band was Dave Lamb who perished after a bout with cancer. MorganEve took a few years off, and then began her recording career anew. I believe she did another album besides Avalon, but I have not yet chased it down. Avalon is hauntingly beautiful and it is clearly MorganEve’s attempt at putting her grief into words and music. I teared up listening to Avalon.

Saint Vitus, Saint Vitus (2019). 
Yes, I know Saint Vitus has been putting out albums in recent years, and aren’t really a comeback band. But, in another way they are on the comeback trail. This album is missing Scott Weiner, and the sound is much closer to the Born Too Late album from the 80s. They have returned to the sound that made me love Saint Vitus in the mid-80s. Welcome back Saint Vitus.
Meat Puppets, Dusty Notes (2019). 
This album saw the Puppets reunited with their original drummer. I expected something musically resembling 1982 Puppets, but this album is like no other Puppets record. It is mellow, and experimental at the same time. With time, this could become my favorite Meat Puppets album

Here are a few other great records I bought in 2019, but my hands are cramping from my verbosity so I will be brief.

Orville Peck, Pony (2019). 
The songs on this traditional country album are a little hit or miss, but the hits are jaw droppingly good.

Goatman, Rhythms (2018). 
This album sounds like Goat, and Goat kicks ass.

Don Cherry, Brown Rice (1975). 
Experimental jazz from a master trumpeter.

Johnny Flynn, Silion (2017). 
Have you watched Detectorists? Then you know Johnny Flynn. He performed the theme song. I can’t get enough of his voice.

Dommengang, No Keys (2019). 
Great rock album.

Vanishing Kids, Heavy Dreamer (2018). 
I have said on this blog before, and I will say it again, Nikki from the Vanishing Kids has a stunning voice. The Kids have a great catalog, but this one may be their best album yet. Check it out.


Tuesday, December 31, 2019

Scott’s Best of 2019

By Scott

My year was a little thin, music-wise, so I’m sticking with the top-five albums plus a concert:

Opeth, In Cauda Venenum (2019).
This is Opeth’s fourth album since they discarded the death metal elements in their sound and became a heavy prog band. The previous three albums have great moments and superb playing throughout; I enjoy them all, but they can feel disjointed and a little under cooked. In Cauda Venenum is confident and coherent all the way through, with a momentum that the other albums lack. Plus, it’s great to hear Mikael Akerfeldt singing in Swedish, although there’s also an English-language version for all you cultural imperialists out there. 

Bruce Cockburn, Crowing Ignites (2019). 
There are instrumental songs scattered throughout Bruce Cockburn’s vast discography, and he collected many of them on the 2005 album Speechless. But here is a new album of original instrumentals, all signature Cockburn, capturing many of the tones and moods that he’s expressed in around fifty years of songwriting, although the emphasis is on the somber and occasionally eerie.  

Budgie, Never Turn Your Back on A Friend (1973), In for The Kill (1974), and Bandolier (1975). 
I’ll count all three albums together because I got them as a set. I regret not getting into this band years ago. I knew they were an important influence in the early days of heavy metal (mostly via, I’ll admit, Metallica covering their songs), but that sometimes implies historical interest outweighing the innate appeal of a band—not true, in this case! And, now that I know what a “Budgie” is (which, I didn’t), the following album cover makes a lot more sense. 



Gary Burton and Chick Corea, Crystal Silence (1973). 
This is mood enhancing music for me, just Burton’s vibraphone and Corea’s piano, mostly improvising around themes. You can relax to it or you can pay close attention to the intricate playing; either way, it’s refreshing every time I listen.  

Dr. John, Anutha Zone (1998).
It’s a regrettable fact that, sometimes, when an artist dies, it becomes an occasion to get better acquainted with their music. For me, such was the case with Dr. John, who died this year (see also: Leon Redbone). I spent some time listening to his run of classic albums from the late 1960s and early 1970s. But Anutha Zone, from 1998, I found myself returning to more often—a mostly laid back, occasionally spooky, great-sounding album that finds Dr. John more contemplative than theatrical. 

Favorite concert: 
In 2019, I fulfilled a longtime wish to see Mark Knopfler. I might have preferred a smaller band, a smaller venue, and a different set list—more solo work and less Dire Straits—but hey, I’ll take it. An unforgettable highlight was “Speedway at Nazareth,” a simmering song that Knopfler and his band brought to a full boil. 

Hinkleyhadavision’s Musicial Obsession

By Hinkleyhadavision

Colter Wall’s song, “Sleeping on the Blacktop,” blew my mind this year. The writing, solo kick drum, guitar work, and, of course, his voice make this a perfect song in my opinion. This young man is already a master of his craft. He is a real gem. 



He played close to my town this past summer, but I was not able to make the show. Maybe he will come back someday.

Monday, December 23, 2019

Festivus Musical Grievances 2019

While the list of grievances related to life and the world is quite long, several taint ticklers have kept their musical grievances short. Enjoy. 

Anita Papsmear: 

The Republican Party, the puffy Cheeto and many of its supporters.


Dale M.:

Fuck me, my tolerance for un-original, un-inspired crap has reach a point of no return. Enter Baby Metal—I know this “group” has been around for awhile, but if you haven’t heard this “band” I consider you fortunate. Melt Banana meets Miami Sound Machine anyone? This “is pure fuckery” and is “metal” musicians with k-pop or j-pop singers, which equals I would rather masturbate in public with a cheese grater or wipe my ass with wax paper than listen to this shit. Just to add insult to injury they have collaborated with Rob Halford to cover “Breaking the Law.” Mr. Explosive Diarrhea can file a hostile work place grievance against me for playing this nonsense for him. Furthermore, I will tender my resignation for knowing what j-pop and k-pop is.

Back in 2010, one of my grievances was related to the need for fossil rock bands to hang it up; today the need is even more so. I liken it to that person at work who can retire, but won’t because the only reason they haven’t is because work is their only purpose in life—and they more than likely pass away shortly after retirement. Today, I still have this same feeling but towards some of my favorite bands from back in the day. For example, take Slayer with its “farewell” tour, is it really? Slayer hasn’t released anything interesting to me since Seasons. Those people I mentioned last time, I referred to as clingers. This label applies to these bands who keep going on and on. It is a vicious cycle of the ones who made it big who continue to release overproduced excrement, while others who didn’t make it blame the ones who did for their own failure. The latter continue to release the same garbage juice as they did in the beginning. When I hear news that “insert band or group name here” will be breaking up, I rejoice, only to have a red hot fire poker shoved straight up my anus as I hear they are going on another tour or going to release another oily discharge bowel movement.

Mashups. Who’s fucking genius idea was to mix two already shitty songs into one unbearable song? Motley Crue’s “Girls, Girls, Girls” mixed with some Billie Ellish “song.” While you are at it, you might as well throw in some Christian song into the mix. Fuck.

80’s Hair Metal, X-mas songs, and Christian music, enough said—these genres will always be a grievance.

Skip’s CD World in Eugene closing this past summer/fall. 


Null:

1. Digital music: I still hate the idea of digital music. Nothing’s changed. I’ve gone so far as to start listening to, and buying, used cassette tapes. Complete defiance. And, yes, cassettes still sound like shit.

2. Morrissey: I have loved The Smiths all of my life and will continue to do so. I also loved Morrissey’s solo output. However, as the years go by Morrissey continues to baffle me with his elitist pull toward fascism. It is unbelievable to me that in this day and age when we need his witty mouth and vitriol on our side, considering the rise of nationalist and fascist movements around the globe, he has the fuck-nut idea of sporting a nationalist pin on his jacket. Fuck him. I’m tired of making excuses for him. He has turned into the nightmare he warned us of in his youth. To be honest, his last great album was 2006’s Ringleader of the Tormentors. I was always under the impression he was anti-fascist. Fuck him. I’m done. His plane went down over Germany in 2006.

3. Apathy of mainstream artists: Though there are many underground bands spitting rage at the state of the world, I am so disappointed at the lack of anger expressed in popular music these days. It’s strange to have Taylor Swift’s moderately liberal statements constitute the most controversial things happening in popular music. 

4. Lagwagon’s new album cover: Lagwagon had a really stupid album cover for their new album, Railer, this year. It has been great to see this band lyrically mature over the years, and their last couple of album covers reflected this slow change. I don’t mind humor in my punk rock, but I do demand a lot of purpose. However, this album cover looks like it could be the album cover for a “punk band” started by the kids of Blink-182. I ordered the album and it never showed up in the mail. I still don’t have it, so I can’t comment of the whether or not it stands in opposition to the album cover. Still, it’s stupid.


PaulySure:

While 2019 was in my opinion just a decent year for music, most of my grievances came less from band/releases (some things I absolutely loved, while some tried and true bands fell kind of short), but from elements of the industry itself. All three of my grievances this year are connected. So let’s get into it, shall we?

First off, not to repeat my first grievance from last year, but the big issue was the fact that the record store location that I called home, finally came to a close. On the last day, of the first month of 2019, the location closed its doors. It was the true end of an era. And while in last year’s grievances, I mentioned that the closure was temporary, it has been moved to an indefinite relocation. Funds keep needing to go other places for other things, like Record Store Day, and the rents in the city itself keep increasing primarily due to out of state investors. I was relocated to another location, so fortunately, I still had a job, but it just isn’t the same. The clientele are not nearly as friendly, and generally are downright rude. So I stepped down from a management position, to part-time, and now find myself in the world of finance. 

Secondly, I have resorted to signing up for the fairly dreaded Spotify. This is due to a few reasons, the largest of which I will outline in my final grievance (and frankly ties in with the first too). The first reason, it feels like streaming has become a bit of a necessary evil. The second is that with fewer new releases coming into many of the local shops, due largely to the final grievance, I am forced to seek out and listen to new releases some other way, and streaming has become the quickest, most efficient, and feasible. It’s not to say I am done buying music, far from it, I just need access to new bands/titles/etc. and thus my hand was forced.

My last grievance comes from major labels and distribution in this industry. I’ve been hearing about this issue for about the last 4-6 months, and each time it keeps getting worse. Now, some of the general public has more knowledge of this issue because of an article that Pitchfork posted the other day (https://pitchfork.com/thepitch/a-major-music-distributor-has-stifled-vinyl-sales-for-record-stores-and-indie-labels-sources-say/). This year, many of the major labels, but primarily Warner, signed a distribution deal with Direct Shot. This was supposed to make things somewhat more streamlined and easier, but actually did just the opposite. It is almost as if that bully kid stuck a stick in the spokes, and things are starting to crash. The above article mentions that the issue effects vinyl, but it actually effects music on all formats. Where a record store used to be able to purchase new releases and restocks on CDs, and return around 70-80 percent of said product to get credit for more new releases and restocks; working with Direct Shot has changed that to being only able to return roughly 25 percent of said product. This causes a huge strain on an independent record store. It is forcing them to only carry what they know will sale, which in this industry, changes regularly. It is also making it so that orders do not show up complete, or are delayed sometimes a week or months at a time. Now some of the issues come from Direct Shot. But some of the blame should lie with the major labels as well. Why? Because many of them do not actually want to press physical releases of anything anymore; they see no value in it, and it hurts us the fans, the people who want to support artists, and the people who care about hearing the whole album, not just the single. It’s awful, a music industry, not wanting music. It actually really harshes my mellow.


Scott:

This one’s easy. After a thirteen-year gap, Tool finally released a new album, Fear Inoculum. I don’t dislike the music, which is mostly fine (although it isn’t an especially memorable collection of songs, and more like a series of exercises in the Tool sound, or sounds, but that’s another issue). My gripe is with the packaging. The only physical format available was a gimmicky, super-duper multimedia CD that came with a little screen and speakers for showing, I don’t know, videos or some shit. It was expensive. And even if you wanted to fork over the money, it sold out almost immediately (and thus began the inevitable price gouging, for a time). Looking now, I see that you can also get a cheaper version that looks like a book and comes with 3D pictures of aliens and geometric shapes or whatever, which is still 30 bucks. Next time, skip all this silly bullshit!

SoDak:

Losing over 180 records due to flooding in the basement. The lack of seal around the water line, which was behind the wall, so it could not be seen, allowed rainwater to enter the room. One of my record shelves absorbed the water, which then spread through several rows of records. Earlier in the year, I had started to put plastic sleeves on records that did not have them, but I started on the top shelves rather than the bottom. I am resigned to the loss, but still depressed.

Morrissey. See Null’s comment above. 

Rob Miller (Amebix and Tau Cross). Rob lost his fucking mind, becoming a supporter of Holocaust denialism and other crazy shit. Tau Cross is no more, as the other members quit.

Idlewild, Interview Music. Production is good, but the record is forgettable. I had come to expect wonderful records from this band, so this one surprised me. 

A missing song on each of the first three Iron Maiden records that were reissued this year. Given that these were were remasters of the UK version, they did not include the singles, “Sanctuary,” “Twilight Zone,” and “Total Eclipse.” Damn it.