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There is a good chance you found us accidentally by using the word “taint” in your search (If you found us on purpose, you deserve our accolades). Of course, we don’t know what you were looking for, but you stumbled on a damn cool project. Look around; let us help send you on a musical journey. Here you will find a number of album reviews from the strange and extreme to the tame and mainstream. Our reviewers are a bunch of obsessive miscreants. Most of us are avid music collectors and have been involved in the music world for decades. A couple of us have been in or are still in bands.

There are no rules on Tickle Your Taint Blog. Our reviewers might make you laugh, or piss you off; both results are legitimate. One reviewer might write a glowing review of an album; another might tear it apart. We may have a new review every week, or we could end up with one every six months. This blog exists as a social experiment to build community among a diverse group of music maniacs – our reviewers and hopefully you.


Wednesday, January 4, 2023

Elon Musk Dies at 56—South African Tech Gazillionaire Who Assisted the Suicide of Twitter

The following post is part of the fictive obituary series. 


By Chastity Morgan


Elon Reeve Musk, the tech gazillionaire who acquired Twitter, an online social media platform, in 2022, died in an intergalactic starship crash on Saturday, May 5, 2818.

Born to onetime emerald mine owner, Errol Musk and Maye Musk, a Canadian-born model and dietitian, Elon Musk died when his SpaceX starship collided with xfjqz-illionaire Jeff Bezos’s super shuttle on Saturday, May 5, 2818. Starship troopers are still investigating the cause of the crash, but it is believed that Musk was following his Google Starmaps and went down a one-way galaxy when his starship collided with the Amazon xfjqz-illionaire’s super shuttle. An investigation has been launched to see if Mark Zuckerberg, owner of Macro, will be held liable if it is found that Google Starmaps failed to update its mapping system causing the crash.

Elon Musk, businessman and investor, best known as the CEO and architect of Tesla, was notorious in the tech world for being a megalomaniac. He sold his first tech company Zip2 for a humble $307 million in 1999. From there, Musk went on to co-found X.com, a banking service, which merged with Cofinity in 2000 to form PayPal. By 2025, Musk managed to acquire all the cryptocurrency on planet Earth. 

Musk was the inspiration for Larry Gatlin’s hit single “All the Cryptocurrency in Silicon Valley.” 

All the cryptocurrency in Earth

Is in the laptop in the middle of Silicon Valley

In Elon Musk’s name.

So if you’re dreamin’ about planet Earth,

Silicon Valley’s a brand-new game.

Musk hit hard times in 2023 when he assisted with the suicide of Twitter. Although Twitter read like the bathroom stall of a mediocre high school, its millions of users were upset when a memo leaked regarding Musk’s plan to “compassionately kill” the platform. Musk’s drastic moves to cut costs including the killing of the verification checkmarks, and killing of the Twitter staff, were met with other maneuvers to bring back controversial figures under Twitter’s “Freedom of Hate Speech Act.” These actions were transparent, but the public was in uproar when a correspondence between Musk and Zuckerberg was leaked. Musk told Zuckerberg, “I will kill him (Twitter). Then we can merge and create our own speech platform.” In which Zuckerberg replied, “Please kill Twitter compassionately.” Musk then replied, “I will, but he must die.” Social justice groups around the United States called for the canceling of Musk for his use of gendered pronouns in reference to Twitter. In spite of protests, Musk still killed Twitter.

The Twitter scandal was then followed by a gang of Tesla cars going rogue and taking electric stations around the United States hostage. In July 2026, autonomous driving Tesla’s with no drivers started to circle electric stations. It looked like a scene straight out of the 1986 film starring Emilio Estevez Maximum Overdrive. The United States in an attempt to curb the disaster turned off the electricity for all major cities with charging stations. For twenty-four hours, the country was dark, but luckily the hostage situation was short lived as Tesla’s only get 267 miles per charge. Although Musk has not been the CEO of Tesla since 2018 due to fraud charges, his name is still synonymous with the electric car company.

Rather than face more scrutiny, in 2027, Musk left much of his fortune to his eight children. He was cryogenically frozen until the public would forget about his misdoings. Unfortunately, his children carried on his legacy with a series of “choices made in poor taste,” which extended Musk’s frozen state. Finally, his lineage died out, and it was then safe for him to start the unthawing process as he headed back to planet Earth. 

Musk fully thawed on May 3, 2818, with the $75 billion he set aside for this moment. By May 4, his pompous ass ill-equipped to fly the new age starship and with no starship license jet off into the unknown. Only two days after his thaw, he crashed into xfjqz-illionaire Bezos’s super shuttle and evaporated suddenly into the galaxy on what would be Karl Marx’s 1,000th birthday.


Check out the trailer for Maximum Overdrive: 


Watch the video for Gatlin’s “All the Gold in California”: 



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