Daniel Romano, Finally Free (2018)

By Five-Inch Taint

This morning I did something that helped me relate much more to how Daniel Romano must have been feeling when he finished recording his latest album, Finally Free. I woke up and got ready for my typical morning constitutional. However, today was slightly different. Instead of going straight into the bathroom, I went into my office where I had a large brown bag filled with very specialized tools. Full of confidence, I pulled out a hat. Now, this is not your typical cap or a hat that a magician would pull a rabbit out of. No, the contents within were not any that a magician would want to extract. This hat is to be placed on a toilet seat and you are expected to fill it with your shit. So, I obliged. I duly placed down the hat in the proper location and proceeded to decimate it with a shit that contained the over 50 grams of fiber I had consumed the day before.

As I contemplate why my life has come to this point, I reach into the brown goodie bag to pick out the rest of its contents: two wooden sticks (not dissimilar to the old wooden tongue depressors), four pink latex gloves, and a vial that was destined to be the vessel of my shit. I wondered if the factory owners who oversaw the production of this piece of plastic ever considered what would be contained within their product?

After finishing my business, I slap on the gloves, pick up the sticks, and begin to shovel my excrement into this vile vial. After washing my hands, putting on some pants, I dutifully place my doodie container in a plastic bag to conceal its contents. Normally, I have very little shame. Most of my reviews on this website are about shit. However, as I headed off to the hospital to deposit my poop to some unsuspecting nurse, I began to feel this tremendous sense of embarrassment. No person should ever have to hand personal butt brownies to another living being. I ask: What am I doing with my life? How could something that I produced that is never intended to be seen in the general public now be on display for all the world to see? I felt shame and embarrassment.

As I approached the hospital, I started to think more about the person receiving my contained crap. What poor, unsuspecting fool will I be releasing my release on? Before I knew it, I approached the desk, handed the receptionist the test orders, my identification, and my insurance information. Great, I realize, now this is not just some anonymous dung—it has a name. That name is “Five-Inch Taint.” Awash with a wave of self-consciousness, and much to my chagrin, I hand it over and announce: I am Five-Inch Taint, and this is shit. The entire buildup of this morning, but this last moment in particular, is how I imagine Daniel Romano must have felt when he recorded his latest album Finally Free. I cannot begin to tell you how awful this album is.

Anita Papsmear's Best Music of 2018

 By Anita Papsmear

I typically provide a proper Top 20 list each year of my favorite aural pleasures, but, this time around, I thought I would change it up and share my favorite releases and songs in a more casual way. Suffice to say, each selection has been vetted within the coveted Papsmear Ratings System, which is as follows:

5 Smears = the best, most perfect offering a band/artist can do—it’s downright malignant

4 Smears = almost perfect, pretty sure it’s malignant

3 Smears = middle of the road—not bad, not awesome—it’s a biopsy moment

2 Smears = you best change your diet and exercise right quick

1 Smear = benign—no good

Everything here has received a rating of 5 smears and is listed in no particular order.

First off, here are my absolute favorite songs from this past year:

Karen O. featuring Michael Kiwanuka, “Yo! My Saint.”

I am a huge Yeah Yeah Yeahs fan, and it seems everything that Karen O. touches is gold. Mr. Kiwanuka is as gifted as they come and his gorgeous vocals pair sweetly with hers. This is such a catchy song you will sing it for days after hearing it. The lyrics are great as well. Karen wrote this song for a short film, directed by her long-time friend, Ana Lily Amirpour, which was inspired by fashion house, Kenzo. The short combines film, music, and fashion.

I used to rule the streets
I was young enough to know that
There was something to believe in
I'm tired of the lies they tell
I'm trying to disguise myself
The perfect crime that I'll commit
Is loving you despite all of it.

Mellah, “Cigarette Lighter.”

This song is brilliant. It is so well written—not many can capture the craziness of U.S. politics. This comes close. This is an artist to watch!

Echo chamber, narrow sight, indignation, equal right
Hate inciter, fascist fighter, tinderbox, cigarette lighter
Left says bigot, right says dreamer, but at the core, neither is either
So by all means, preach your righteous way, shine your light, and I'll watch the shadow play

I'll keep walking
Cause I can't help that I feel something
That rises above all the talking
The swaying of trees, the smell of fire picking up on the breeze.

Pearl Jam, “You Can’t Deny Me.”

Written in the wake of the Parkland High School shooting in Florida but also during the time of the Republican “reform” on DACA. This is a powerful song with multiple meanings.

Your lies are sick
They're sick and they're vile
You can't deny me

Try and talk down to me
My mind it ain't so simple
Where's your vocabulary
Your ignorance is sinful

You plant your lying seeds
Watch as the roots take hold
The country you are now poisoning
Condition critical.

John Grant, “Metamorphosis.”

This songs is off beat and lyrically mind blowing. I can’t hear this one enough.

A new shooting
Fresh for breakfast
This one’s in Florida, not in Texas
Manchurian Candidate
To subconscious trigger
Have you seen the remake?
I have to watch my figure
Lemon Bismarck doughnut
That won't hurt now won't it
Tiki bar, rat souffle
You agree on Marvin Gaye.

Night Club, “Your Addiction.”

FINALLY, here is a replacement for Kavinsky & Lovefoxx’s “Nightcall.” This song is so fucking catchy. I want to hear this every time I am on the dance floor…and even when I am not. It is synthwave at it’s finest. It’s got dancey goodness and naughty girl vocals. Come on, what else do you need. See below for a review of the cd.

Hey come in
And let me get under your skin, your skin
You started something you can't win, can't win
I am your church these are your sins, your sins
Now don't you wish you could take em back cause

You've been bitten
And now you made me your addiction.

Bert Dockx, “Shadowplay.”

Just wanted to give props to this beautiful, acoustic version of the Joy Division classic. It is worth looking it up, as it gives the song new breath.

My favorite EPs from 2018:

NIN, Bad Witch

I heart you Trent Reznor…and all the things that you do!

Ron Gallo, Stardust Birthday Party.

The songs “Prison Décor” and “Om” should be on every playlist!

Charlatans, Totally Eclipsing.

I was lucky enough to see them this year. They still have the youthful exuberance of years ago. Plus, lead singer Tim Burgess put out a solo disc this year, As I Was Now. It’s great too—see below for the review.

Barry Adamson, Love Sick Dick.

Aside from the greatest title ever, Barry never disappoints. This EP is a bit sunnier than usual however. The song, “They Walk Among Us,” has a darkness that I crave in a “sick dick” release.

Mazzy Star, Still.

This record is lush and beautiful, everything you would want or could expect from this seminal band.

Live, Local 717.

This talented bunch of artisans sound better than ever. Check out, “Love Lounge” and “Brother.”

Favorite Indie Rock Records from 2018:

Blue Stones, Black Holes.

These guys are one (out of two) of my “bands to watch” nominees. They have really catchy rock grooves. They have that certain “je ne sais quoi.” The songs “The Drop,” “Black Holes,” and “The Hard Part” really stand out.

Metric, Art of Doubt.

This is a great record. The band has really proven with this CD that they are destined for greatness. Check out the title track, as well as “Love You Back” and “Die Happy.”

Beechwood, Inside the Flesh Hotel.

This is my second nominee for “a band to watch.” Inside the Flesh Hotel  is effortlessly catchy while maintaining the ability to maneuver from dark to light. Beechwood has been touring Europe, but I am hoping they wind their dark little hearts into the states in 2019. Check out “Bigot In My Bedroom,” “I Found You Out,” and “Over On Everyone.”

Parquet Courts, Wide Awake!

Check out “Total Football,” “Mardi Gras Beads,” “Freebird II,” and “Violence.”

The Temperance Movement, A Deeper Cut.

“Built-in Forgetter” and “Caught In the Middle” are standouts.

Gaz Coombes, World’s Strongest Man.

Former Supergrass singer is putting out some great solo stuff. Check out “Walk the Walk” and “Wounded Egos.”

Beach Skulls, Las Dunas.

“Come Undone,” “Sacred Citrus,” and “That’s Not Me” are great places to start.

Johnny Marr, Call the Comet.

I mean, just how talented can one individual be? I guess the answer is very.

Rolling Blackouts Coastal Fever, Hope Downs.

This is a great band on the Sub Pop label. It is indie rock at its finest, featuring great tunes like, “Talking Straight,” “Sister’s Jeans,” and “An Air-conditioned Man.”

King Tuff, The Other.

Saw this band live this year and, wow, they were great! It was really refreshing to see Tuffy play alongside some talented female guitar players and the mix makes for an outstanding sound and live show. Check out “Circuits In the Sand,” “Raindrop Blue,” and “Psycho Star.”

Clutch, Book of Bad Decisions.

Every single record Clutch puts out is great. This one is no different. There are some really great political songs on here. This is simply an important release. Listen to “How To Shake Hands” and “In Walks Barbarella.”

Death Valley Girls, Darkness Reigns.

I want to be BFFs with these ladies. They are strong, smart, rockin’ queenz from the darkness—and they reign. Rock out to “Abre Camino,” “Wear Black,” and “Disaster (Is What We’re After).”

Breeders, All Nerve.

It’s awesome! “Nervous Mary,” “Wait In the Car,” “Metagoth,” and “Archangel’s Thunderbird” are great. This is such a fun ride.

Phono Pony, Monkey Paw.

They are on my list due to songs like “Freak Out,” Losing the Spark,” and “Take It From Me.”

Albert Hammond Jr., Francis Trouble.

This is a cool record—check out “Faraway Truths,” “Stop and Go,” and “Set To Attack.”

Jon Spencer, Spencer Sings the Hits.

I still don’t understand how a musician of Jon’s caliber isn’t more known outside cool circles—he is absolutely phenomenal. Check out “Do the Trash Can” (which had to be inspired by all-time greats The Cramps), “Time 2 Be Bad,” and “Cape.”

Pete International Airport, Safer With Wolves.

This band is the creation of Dandy Warhols’s drummer Peter Holmstrom and features a myriad of musical guests like Alex Maas (Black Angels), Robert Levon Been (Black Rebel Motorcycle Club), and more. Listen to “Flowers of Evil,” “Western Shouting,” and “Dance Around the Broken.”

Cruel Intentions, No Sign of Relief.

Here you get hard rock tunes with flair. Check out “Genie’s Got A Problem,” “Jawbreaker,” and “Borderline Crazy.”

Kristin Hersh, Possible Dust Clouds.

This is a great release from former Throwing Muse, Kristin Hersh. Listen to “LAX” and “Breathe In.”

Barns Courtney, The Attraction of Youth.

I was late to the party, as this CD came out in 2017, but I felt it important to mention as it is a great disc.

Django Django, Marble Skies and Winter’s Beach.

Django Django is a busy band. They put out 2 releases in 2018. Marble Skies  is a divine CD with great songs like “Champagne,” “Tic Tac Toe,” and “Beam Me Up.” Winter’s Beach  is a 6-song disc featuring cool tunes like “Blue Hazy Highs” and “Sand Dunes.”

Jim James, Uniform Distortion.

Jim James is a master song crafter. Uniform Distortion  is another amazing release from this talented man (My Morning Jacket). Go listen to “Just A Fool,” “Throwback,” “No Secrets,” and “No Use Waiting.”

Elle King, Shake the Spirit.

Elle King is such a talent. Like me, she can be polarizing. But I really don’t get that. She has mass appeal and cuts through most musical genres. Her latest CD has a good variety—something to please everyone. Her songwriting is aces. There is also lots of cussing, which I can get behind. “Shame” is an amazing and undeniable single. I like “Man’s Man” and “Baby Outlaw” among others. 

Fantastic Negrito, Please Don’t Be Dead.

This is simple a great CD. Check out “Bad Guy Necessity” and Plastic Hamburgers.”

Tim Burgess, As I Was Now.

Tim is the Charlatans’s front man, and As I Was Now  is his latest solo record. I have long loved the Charlatans and anything Tim touches. He has really hit his stride on this one. My favorite track is “Another Version of the Truth.”

Father John Misty, God’s Favorite Customer.

Father John has made another fabulous record. It is a great CD for a Sunday morning digestive, or any other day. There are so many great songs here.

Laura Carbone, Empty Sea.

This is a gorgeously crafted CD worth picking up. My favorite tunes are “Grace,” “Cellophane Skin,” and “Tangerine Tree.”

Faces On TV, Night Funeral.

Great CD. Listen to “Dancing After All.”

Glen Campbell, Sings For the King.

Glen covers Elvis songs, and, gladly, not the popular tunes. It is real good. The tracks are taken from his time as a studio musician. On this release, Glen transcends Glen. Must listen to “Any Old Time,” “Spinout,” and “I Got Love.”

Favorite Chillwave Records in 2018:

To Destroy A City, Go Mirage.

This records is from 2017, but I just discovered this band. Fantastic tracks incude “Final Kiss,” “Never To Return,” and “Wavelength.”

Cults, Motels.

This CD is their ode to The Motels. It will make you want to push repeat over and over. It is great for Sunday morning. I dare you not to pull out your old Motels collection after listening.

Still Corners, Slow Air.

Still Corners are the masters of chillwave. This new release is lovely. “In the Middle of the Night”, “The Message,” and “Black Lagoon” really stand out.

Joan As Police Woman, Damned Devotion.

I love this woman. Every release is strong and becomes a “go-to.” I hope to see her live soon. “Tell Me” and “Steed (featuring Jean Genet)” should be on your chillax playlist.

Gunship, Dark All Day.

Their albums are art pieces. This record is an epic journey into all things synthy and sax-y. Sometimes there is too much “1980s sexy sax” for me (aka the title track), but otherwise, I’m up for the trip.

Emika, Falling In Love With Sadness.

This is one of my top CDs of the year. Emika’s cool. She has a subtle vibe. She is a good songwriter. Heck, she is a classicly trained musician after all. My motto is, “More Emika—all the Time.” I love “Could This Be,” “Close,” and “Eternity.”

Cat Power, Wanderer.

You know…it’s Cat Power.

Lala Lala, The Lamb.

Okay, first of all, the name…ah. But the music! Every tune on this precious gem is great. It is definitely a “must pick up.” Check out “The Flu,” “Scary Movie,” and “Dropout.”

Under Cover Dream Lovers, In Real Time.

This is a six song EP, which gives promise for a wonderful full length soon. The tunes move with a warm and subtle grace, which are catchy too. Listen to “I Don’t Know Your Name” for a taste.

Favorite Psychedelic Records in 2018:

Tvam, Psychic Data.

This is the best psychedelic rock release this year. I still don’t know how to pronounce their name, but listen to these tracks to get an idea of why they are great: “Narcissus,” “Bitplain,” “These Are Not Your Memories,” and “Porsche Majeure.”

Mien, Mien.

A super group if you will: Alex Maas (Black Angels), Tom Furse (Horrors…purrrrr), Rishi Dhir (Elephant Stone), and John Mark Lapham (Earlies). This CD is so cool! Different styles come together to form a more inclusive universe of sound that I want to hear more of. Check out “Black Habit,” “Earth Moon,” and “Odessey.”

Vibravoid, Mushroom Mantras.

Although this release is from 2017, I just found this band this year. I want everyone to know about them—as they have a sitar. They deliver hard rock and mantras all in one! “Om Gang Ganpataye Namah” will stick in your head for days. I also love “Echoes of Time” and “Purple Pepper.”

Black Rebel Motorcycle Club, Wrong Creatures.

This CD is damn near perfect. I have loved this band for a long time and was chuffed—I think it’s their best album yet! “King of Bones,” “Echo,” “Circus Bazooko,” and “Question of Faith” are great.

Favorite Synthwave/Dance/Industrial Records in 2018:

Night Club, Scary World.

Night Club are responsible for one of my favorite songs of the year (see above). I had to check out the rest of the CD. It’s a synth-dance-classic. Plus, I love a lady in a school girl uniform so…. Aside from my favorite “Your Addiction,” listen to the title track, “Scary World,” “Candy Coated Suicide,” “Imaginary Friend,” and “Therapy (Get High).”

Soldout, Forever.

This record is from 2017. It’s a synthwave masterpiece. I can hardly wait for the next disc. Check out “Do It Again (featuring Goose),” “Fake,” “Because of You,” and “Opression.”

Bob Moses, Battle Lines.

When an artist gets a lot of hype, I find myself steering clear of it. I don’t know why…it could be some old “alterna-too-cool” thing. Big mistake though. Bob Moses has put out a great CD in Battle Lines. The songs are subtle yet catchy. The beats move the tunes along and before you know it, you are in deep.

Moby, Everything Was Beautiful and Nothing Hurt.

I love him. Every CD is worth it.

The Soft Moon, Criminal.

“Choke,” “The Pain,” and “It Kills” are standout song…among many others.

OhGr, Tricks.

This is such a great CD with outstanding tracks including the title song, “Toxick,” “Blowby,” and “Due They Know.”

Lead Into Gold, The Sun Behind the Sun.

Paul Barker (Ministry) returns to his side project. It’s Lead Into Gold’s first full-length studio album in 28 years! It’s a goody! Please don’t take so long for the next one.

Nightmares on Wax, Shape the Future.

This is such a cool disc. Every CD by Nightmares on Wax is infused with a cool, more ethereal hip-hop vibe. Put in on and follow your muse.

Leaether Strip, World Molaester and AEppreciation II.

Leaether Strip released two records in 2018. Well, AEppreciation II was released previously on import, but it was only made available in the states this year. Leaether Strip does some great covers. They also play killer new industrial. From World Molaester, check out: “Erbeermund” and “Crack So Deep.”

Juliana Hatfield, Juliana Hatfield Sings Olivia Newton-John.

It’s perfect.

Nothing, Dance On the Black Top.

With songs like “Zero Day” and “Blue Line Baby,” you need this CD in your collection. That is all.

I wish you all the best in 2019! I am really looking forward to the new solo release from Ian Brown on 2.1.2019. The first single, “First World Problems” is great. Also, I am looking forward to the new Dido release. “Hurricanes” is the first single and it sounds lush and lovely. Cigarettes After Sex has put out a couple singles in 2018, so let’s hope there is a full release coming in 2019.

P.S. I hope America stops being an asshole in the new year.

Big love to all,

Anita

Class Warrior’s Musical Obsessions 2018

By Class Warrior

Careful readers of my previous entries in this series may have noticed that my passion for music is beginning to wane. In 2018, this trend sadly continues. I’ll do my best to get you hyped up about some recent albums that I like, but my apologies in advance if my enthusiasm is a bit constrained compared to the past. Who knows? Maybe I’ll get into the swing of things and come up with some superlatives that I currently have trouble feeling.

(Why? What kind of soulless being gives up on new music? I blame it on that timeworn source of misery called workplace stress, the resulting depression, and the previously unforeseen need to perhaps make a sudden and shocking career change. But let’s escape that world for a moment, shall we?)

Swingin’ Utters, Peace and Love(2018). 

Who can predict which bands will have the greatest longevity? I always assume that punk bands will flame out in some small or large way after a short time, either due to internal/external strife or just running out of interesting things to say. Swingin’ Utters is the exception—they’re still putting out new (and, more importantly, high quality!) stuff almost thirty years after they formed. My first record of theirs that I purchased was the Scared10” back in 1992 or 1993, which was a Holstein-colored slab of medium-sized vinyl. It may have been my first vinyl album that wasn’t solid black, but I’m probably misremembering. I enjoyed them then, and I enjoy them now. I saw them play live in 2007 and was absolutely floored by their set. I was dancing and singing along as if I were twenty-one again. I’d love to see them play live at least once more, but no one ever comes to Frozen City.

What’s that? I should talk about the current album? It’s solid punk rock, my friend! Johnny’s voice has not changed in the entire existence of the band. They seemed to have dropped the folky/Irish stuff for this offering—since I am a simple man, I’m glad they made this decision. The fourth song, “E.C.T.,” appears to be a Ramones tribute—I approve. They also have an anti-Trump song called “Yes I Hope He Dies.” Since I’m a living being, it goes without saying that I appreciate the sentiment! If you like punk rock, do yourself a favor and pick up this album. You’ll note that, unfortunately, it’s the only punk rock from 2018 that is on my list this year.

The Night Flight Orchestra, Sometimes the World Ain’t Enough(2018). 

I learned of this album’s existence in the last month of this year. I love it! I think you’ll either agree with me or hate this. Hard to imagine a lukewarm reception for this music. NFO is made up of a bunch of Swedish death metal dudes who play straight 1980s cheese. If you’re of a similar age to me, this will remind you of being a kid. If this album had come out in, say, 1983, it would have been platinum. Imagine a mash-up of bands like Journey, Foreigner, Survivor, “Sleeping Bag” era ZZ Top, etc. with the Beverly Hills Copsoundtrack and a dash of Miami Vicefashion sensibility. That will get you in the neighborhood. Pure nostalgia done right. If you hate this kind of replication on principle, I understand, but this album is high-energy stuff with no filler and a metric ton (tonne?) of hooks. More hooks than a pastel-and-neon pirate ship bound for Miami! My top album of the year, for sure. Favorite songs: hard to pick, but I’ll go with “Moments of Thunder,” “Speedwagon,” “Turn to Miami,” and “Barcelona.” Here’s a video:

Judas Priest, Firepower(2018). 

Their best album since Rob rejoined the band well over a decade ago. That’s a pretty low bar, though—who can forget the colossal mistake that was Nostradamus? Thankfully, Firepowerclears the aforementioned bar with the ease of an Olympic pole vaulter. They may want to think about changing their name soon, now that Downing and Tipton are no longer providing their patented dual-guitar assault for the band. Also, fuck Parkinson’s Disease.

Visigoth, Conquerer’s Oath(2018). 

I had been eagerly anticipating this set of songs from Visigoth for a long time. Their first album,The Revenant King(2015), is easily my favorite metal record of the new millennium. I enjoy the hell out of their newest effort, but it’s not quite at the same level as their first. It appears that most of the internet disagrees with me, as multiple reviews I’ve read contend that Conquerer’s Oathis the superior album. You should buy both and make the determination for yourself. Check out this video for “Warrior Queen”—I had no idea that a human body could contain that much blood!

Blade Killer, High Risk(2018). 

A sonic homage to the NWOBHM heroes of eons past. I quite like it. The singer sounds like Paul Di’Anno! They’re going for a bit of early Maiden, but I’m also picking up some Jaguar, Blitzkrieg, and some of the other bands from the heavier end of NWOBHM. Watch out—they’ve got blades! Maybe they’re “blade killers” because their beard stubble is so thick that it wears out their razors quickly. Sorry, I shouldn’t make fun. Coming up with a good band name at this late date is damned hard. Theirs is fine, as is their music. 

TV Smith, Land of the Overdose(2018). 

The punk rock troubadour returns! Even if this sounded like crap—far from it, by the way—TV Smith deserves our admiration for keeping the spirit of revolution in music alive for over 40 years now. I wish he’d tour the United States—he’s one of the few performers I’d travel to see! I hope he keeps on playing music for the next twenty years. Unless he wants to retire—he’d be about eighty by then.

High Priestess, High Priestess(2018). 

I bought this CD on a whim a few months back. An all-female psych doom band can be a lot of fun. This Los Angeles band is certainly that. While the charm wears away with repeated listens, it’s an agreeable representative of its genre. 

Lucifer, Lucifer II(2018). 

I don’t have much time for music like this anymore (i.e., retro 1970s doomy stoner Sabbathy stuff—I used to eat this up with a spoon a few years back, but it all sounds the same now), but this band does it as well as anyone else around. Johanna’s voice is superb. The songs are catchy enough. If you like this genre, you’ll love this band. 

Satan, Cruel Magic(2018). 

I will save my words for an eventual co-review with Jimmy B.

Outline, Fire Whiplash(2018). 

Speed metal with a female singer! It’s fine! It probably won’t be a cornerstone of your record collection, but that is just an unrealistic expectation for anything you listen to. If it happens—fucking great! You won the lottery! If not, at least you probably enjoyed the music for a while, as I did with Outline’s album.

Haunt, Burst into Flame(2018). 

This is another of those releases that I found only a couple of weeks before writing. So far, I like it quite a bit. Old-school melodic heavy metal straight out of the NW of the NWOBHM. I guess it’s called the New Wave of Traditional Heavy Metal. I’ll always give a band a chance if they’re playing music from my favorite metal genre (i.e., traditional metal). Vocals are sung, not shouted or growled (as it should be). In their promo picture, one of the band members is wearing an Angel Witch shirt. This should give you a good idea of what they sound like. (If you don’t know Angel Witch, for shame!) (Also in the promo picture, one of the members is wearing a Haunt shirt. I don’t know about you, but I hatethis. Bands, please don’t wear you own band’s shirt, for fuck’s sake!)

Throne of Iron, 2018 Demo(2018). 

“Come with me and roll the dice.” This is some fine 1980s style sword and sorcery metal. You should listen to this while playing the first edition of Advanced D & D. (The subsequent editions don’t have the same metal aesthetic.) Sounds like they’ve listened to a lot of Judas Priest, Omen, and Manilla Road. I wouldn’t say they ripped off “The Hellion/Electric Eye” in the intro to their first song, but they certainly found some inspiration from the Priest classic. There are only three songs—I look forward to seeing what they’ll do next! They receive negative points for their Bandcamp photo, where all three members are drinking cans of Coors. All is forgiven (and then some!) due to the RPG maps on the wood-paneled basement wall, the plaid couch with wood accents, and the two visible sword hilts. It looks like my teenage bedroom, minus the swords. I was too poor for such things. And the Coors—I was poison free until I was well into my college years.

Black Death, Black Death(1984/2017). 

Hell’s Headbangers reissued this album recently. Black Death was the first all-African American metal band. As an album, it’s decent, but the first song “Night of the Living Death” is worth the price of admission by itself. It’s an excellent metal anthem that I’m sure featured on many metal mixtapes back in the day. The singer Siki Spacek (!) screams for all he’s worth. An over-the-top metal masterpiece. The rest of the album can’t hope to hold up to the standard that this song establishes.

Journey, Greatest Hits(2006). 

If you need me to describe Journey for you, you’re visiting the wrong site, my friend. Either that or you successfully dodged the radio in the late seventies and eighties. Congratulations! Congratulations? Shit. I’m a fan of good time rock ‘n’ roll from this period—sometimes nothing sounds better on a warm June afternoon (or any other time) than Boston or 38 Special or…Journey. Enjoy this with your head held high. I will do the same.

Podcasts:

The Guardian Football Weekly. 

I re-discovered a love for soccer this year, thanks to the World Cup. I watch English Premier League games most weekends (and I’m the proud owner of a Troy Deeney mug! Go Watford!). These fellows have some excellent and humorous analysis of the goings-on in European soccer, with a particular emphasis (of course) on the English Premier League. Capitalism tarnishes and diminishes, if not outright destroys, everything it touches. Soccer is no different, especially in the big European leagues. While Max and Barry probably aren’t socialists (although one or two of their guests have been, and Barry is not a million miles away), they aren’t afraid to take on the caustic billionaires who “own” teams. They also seem to dislike Manchester United, which is a great bonus.

Did you know that Elton John is the honorary life president of Watford FC? There’s a music connection for you.

Behind the News with Doug Henwood. 

Doug’s a great analyst of current affairs, even if he doesn’t have a clue about ecological matters. He consistently has guests who know what they’re talking about. My favorite episode from the past year was an October edition that featured the sociologist Shamus Khan, who has done some research on elite prep schools. He came on to talk about how his research relates to that privileged pile of vacuity Brett Kavanaugh (who is such a loathsome creature that my normally politically apathetic students despise him).

Live Music:

Haha. I didn’t attend a single live concert this year! All of you will be pleased to know, however, that my brother and I have solid plans to see IRON MAIDEN in September. In Portland! All Taint Ticklers—I call upon you to unite in PDX this September! Together we will up the irons!

Dave’s Musical Obsessions 2018

By Dave

1) Idles, Brutalism (2017) and Joy as an Act of Resistance (2018).

There is so much I like about this band, but at the end of the day I’m conflicted by some of the politics they wear on their sleeves, and how it contradicts every of aspect of the band. I’m inspired by the raw energy. There is a reckless abandon in what I’ve seen of their live performances that speaks to everything I love about punk rock. The tonal choices are great—bass, guitars, drums, vox, all meld perfectly on these records. I’m also really impressed by how they are able to use really stripped down musical textures to drive compelling songs. The turd inevitably splashes in the punch bowl with the lyric, “The mask of masculinity/is a mask a mask that’s wearing me.” I dunno, maybe I associate this with extreme definitions of toxic masculinity that I’ve read in silly little publications like the New York Times and Salon. This line and others identify power and abuse as always being the province of men in intersex relationships and society at large. This is an oversimplification that is not connected to reality, period. Otherwise, it’s not punk to take song writing queues from the Daily Show and Stephen Colbert. Maybe this is just the way 2018 has to be. Everything feels conflicted and incomplete. In spite of the problematic lyrics I’ll keep listening and finding positives in the music of Idles.

2) After Nations, 2018 live performance.

This is a little instrumental prog-metal band from Kansas City that came through Portland sometime in May or June that I think deserves exposure and some recognition. They just hit on all the right elements of the genre. Their arrangements are creative and varied. They are very technically proficient and use advanced playing techniques to create densely layered musical structures without getting lost in boring self-indulgent guitar wankery. To top it all off, they are highly engaged in their high-energy performances.

3) Hobo Johnson, The Rise of Hobo Johnson (2017).
A goofy kid with an interesting sense for lyricism stumbles onto the mainstream hip-hop stage via a viral youtube video. His rhyming schemes stumble and stutter in erratic patterns that collapse into straight poetry at points. His lyrics speak of loneliness, failure, and insecurity. He’s nerdy in a way that’s much more gratingly authentic than the average “nerd rappers” and their corny references to video game and cinematic consumerism. He’s everything that mainstream hip hop rejects, and that’s why I bought his album. I have high hopes for this kid in the coming years.

4) Thundercat, Drunk (2017).
It’s a yacht rock record written by a virtuoso bass player. Thundercat doesn’t care what you think. He writes catchy 1980s influenced pop tunes on weird subject matter like wanting to transform into a cat, playing video games, being friend-zoned by a girl, being bored on mass-transit, drugs and alcohol, etc. It’s like Frank Zappa’s silliness mixed with more tasteful fusion musical arrangements reminiscent of Steely Dan and Stevie Wonder. The guest appearances of Michael McDonald and Kenny Loggins are great. You either get it or you don’t.

5) Teeth, The Strain (2012).
I saw the making of documentary about this record a month or two ago, and was really moved. The Strain in a sense is John Grabski’s final will and testament. He contacted Steve Albini after deciding to forgo treatment for cancer. His last wish was to make this album with his brother. Albini agreed to engineer the record, and Bob Weston mastered it. It takes what I feel is my own musical heritage—being a northwest native—in grunge rock, and refines it in a tightly written powerful statement about a man’s final battle with cancer. I think I heard about this record when it came out, but because I couldn’t stand grunge, I didn’t give it a chance. I really missed out. The record stands on its own, outside of context, based in carefully crafted statements of gritty working-class nihilism, a key ingredient in the best nineties bands. This record makes me want to go back and give Nirvana another chance.

There’s always hope for a better 2019....

Dale M.’s Music Obsessions 2018

By Dale M.

Hyborian, Vol.1 (2017).

Hyborian have a 1980s metal sound meets Baroness, Mastodon, and Kylesa before they figuratively died. Hope Hyborian don’t follow the same path.

YOB, Our Raw Heart (2018). 

I usually can only listen to YOB in very small doses, but for an unknown reason this release has been in my regular rotation.

Dead Cross, Dead Cross (2017).  

I had no idea this was a “super group” when I picked this up. Now that I know this, shouldn’t this be better? 

fIREHOSE, Ragin’, Full On (1986). 

I called in some archaeologists to unearth this one, so I could learn the bassline to “Brave Captain.” Bonus! Better than I remembered.

Cop On Fire, Discography (2008). 

Crust, d-beat punk at its finest.

Rainbow, Rainbow Rising (1976). 

How the shit did I miss this one when I was a teenager? I think I listened to this album in its entirety two to three times a day for at least two months. Two of my top five Dio performed songs come off this one.